#also if this reads very familiar i DID post it on my old blog

[woodsborostabathon]

every once in a while, i do in fact think abt how quinn taunting gale with this was likely just as much a projection of her own pain + guilt over not being able to do anything to prevent richie’s death, or even so much as be there with him as he died (and pretty brutally at that), as it was her just looking to hit the worst nerve she could. and yeah. yeah. it does absolutely get me.

[ramp-it-up]

II Most Wanted Pt. 2: Pedal so heavy 

Pairing: Syverson x OFC Reader "Buttercup" (w/ Betty Bronco)

Summary: The feelings are getting real as you make a decision about giving Jake Syverson the time of day (or night, rather) at your 20 year reunion.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, Angst, pining, fluff. Flashbacks, horny teenagers being horny (over 18 tho). Prom night, early 2000's music, mentions of sex acts, "Captain" kink, mentions of teenage pregnancy, divorce, breakups. The Powerpuff Girls, old automobiles, 20 year high school reunion, drinking, swearing. Reckless driving?

Read at your own risk.  Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N:  This is the second installment of II Most Wanted. I'm in love with these two; they are bringing my writer heart back to life. If you like it, please reblog and comment.

I don't have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Previous part here

-----------------

May 2024

“Well, now Buttercup, that’s a long story. I know you want to hang with your friends. And I don’t know what you’re doin’ later tonight, but I would like to go somewhere quiet and talk about it.”

When you heard that, you went into fight or flight mode. Rage, regret, and sadness all flooded your body at once, and Sy’s eyes flicked down to your dominant hand which was curling into a fist. A wry smile started on his lips, and then he straightened up and looked you in the eye as he started to speak again.

“Butter-”

You shook your head, which silenced him. Then you raised your chin, released your fist, and turned your back, walking toward your friends.

—---

Get out (LEAVE!)

Right now

It’s the end of you and me

It’s too late (NOW!)

And I can’t wait 

For you to be gone…

Carla and Tiffani followed as you fled to the restroom.

“Why did you even tell him I liked him? I blame both of you.”

You were hurt, so you brought up a 20 year old slight and lashed out weakly at your friends. You were trying to ascribe meaning to your emotions.

How could everything still hurt this much? 

Carla wasn’t having it.

“Unh unh. No. Nope. We were sick of you running your mouth all the time about how cute he was. And Jakey boy had heart eyes for you since the day you walked into school, despite Becca the Bitch. After they broke up, we had to put you both out of your misery. It had to be done.”

Tiffani was nodding her head in agreement.

You sighed.

“‘M sorry guys,” you sat on the bathroom vanity and smiled to yourself about your Powerpuff councils in the 3rd floor Central High bathroom all those years ago. Then you grimaced when you thought of Sy.

“I just… Can’t…”

“So what just happened?”

Despite your surliness, Carla was ready to go to war for you.

“He wants me to go talk with him, ‘someplace quiet.’”

“Wow. Your air quotes are kind of aggressive.”

Sweet Tiffani was also calling you out.

“Maybe you do need to talk to him. I heard what happened, and it’s kind of a lot. A hell of a story.”

“Tiff has a point. You forbid us to say his name after you two broke up…”

You interrupted Carla.

“After he found out Becca was pregnant, you mean..”

“...That is a part of the story you need to hear. She did him dirty. They split when he finished his first tour. He asked about you, but you were already engaged to Scott…”

You’d heard that Sy enlisted instead of going to State for football like he planned when Becca fell pregnant, but the bit about the split hit you like a ton of bricks.

But why? And what did it matter now? 

“Sy spent the better part of the last 20 years in Afghanistan, and I think it’s because…But that’s not our story to tell. You really ought to talk to him.”

“I don’t have to do-”

Your voice was a little shrill and you closed your mouth when you heard yourself. You stood in the bathroom awkwardly until the familiar beginning of a song wafted into the room:

“Teen drinking is very bad.”

Carla and Tiff started screaming the next line:

“Yo, I got a fake ID tho.”

The beat dropped and they pulled you out of the bathroom onto the dance floor.

One, here comes the two to the three to the four Everybody drunk out on the dance floor Baby girl ass jiggle like she want more Like she a groupie and I aint even on tour...

…..Everybody in this bitch getting Tipsy.

This was your thot song, and after a minute of standing there, fake offended by their dancing, soon you were shaking your ass with your lifelong friends.

—-----

Sy knew how much he was trying it when he asked you to talk, but he had been waiting 20 years for this chance. 

Tonight was the night.

And he wasn’t going to let the night pass without shooting his shot. But the truth needed to be told first. He hoped that you still cared enough to let it happen.

When you stared at him blankly, he started to sweat. He knew you lived your life since then. He feared that any feelings you may have had for him were over and done with. But then he saw your hand balled into a fist, and hope entered his heart.

Sy never shrank from a fight; hell, he’d started too many, but he never wished for someone to sock him in the mouth as much as you.

He wanted to fight with you. 

And he wanted to make it up to you. 

His heart dropped when you walked away, but he decided to let it ride and give you some space. After you disappeared into the bathroom with Carla and Tiffani, Sy ventured into the venue, ready to interact with others now that he had laid down the challenge with you.

—---

You were having a ball dancing with the girls until that song came on. You stopped moving, the hair raised on the back of your neck. When you turned you found Sy staring right at you. You’d managed to ignore him the entire night, but this song and his blue eyes were wearing you down.

I'd sure hate to break down here Nothin' up ahead or in the rear view mirror Out in the middle of nowhere, knowin' I'm in trouble if these wheels stop rollin' So, God help me, keep me movin' somehow Don't let me start wishin' I was with him now

You walked toward Sy, drawn to him as if on a string. You had that feeling in the small of your back as you stood before him, the one that you hadn’t felt in ages, and suddenly everything felt inevitable.

Just like it did 20 years earlier. 

—---

May 2004

On Prom night, you came out of your bedroom and Sy’s mouth dropped open. His eyes never strayed from your face as he murmured,

“You look amazing.”

You blushed and smiled while your mom ‘awwwed’ and went to get her camera. You approached your boyfriend and he took your hand to twirl you around as he appraised the rest of you in your sleek emerald green dress. When you faced him again, he was licking his lips, trying to make the look on his face respectable. You smiled because you could read his mind.

Sy didn’t flinch as your mom called him “Jacob,” and you didn’t have it in you to be annoyed as she took a couple of pictures. Sy’s hand on your waist and his thumb gently stroking the exposed skin at the opening on the side of your dress made you shiver in anticipation.

You were caught up.

Soon, Sy was loading your bag into the back of Betty, and pulling off, your mom having accepted your explanation of staying over Tiffani’s after going bowling with the group after the prom.

In reality, a bunch of the crew were renting a huge chalet in the mountains, 45 minutes away. You and Sy had your own room, and you were ready to give him everything that night. You were distracted, imagining having your way with him that night.

And Sy was right there with you.

“Y’know, Buttercup, we can just head on up to the chalet.” 

He cut his eyes over to you to watch your reaction. When you didn’t answer and just bit your lip, that’s when he knew.

“Our suite has its own bathroom with a shower in it. We’re definitely using that this weekend. Can’t wait to see you all soapy and wet. ‘S all I could think about in the shower tonight. Almost jerked off to the image, but I decided to save it all for later…”

Sy knew you too well, and had keyed into how you responded when he talked dirty to you. He was priming the pump for later.

You pictured Sy in the shower, his lithe muscles clenched as he fisted himself, made you suddenly need a drink of water. You cleared your throat and found your voice.

“We have to go, Sy. I spent so much time getting ready. And you look so handsome in this tux….”

You skimmed your hand down his lapel, down his torso to his thigh, and you quickly ascertained his situation. He grinned at you.

“You’re right.”

Sy winked, smiled and concentrated on the road while you tried not to be a slut in the passenger seat. By the time you reached the venue, you had yourself under control. He parked, then turned toward you. 

“Let’s have a good time tonight, Buttercup. Think you can keep your hands offa me for a couple of hours?”

You scoffed, and Sy took your hand and kissed the back of it, then turned it over and kissed your palm, smoothing the joke away because in reality, It was him who couldn’t help touching you.

“Don’t want to mess up your makeup right now… might ruin it later tho.”

You whimpered in his grip as he kissed up your arm and you tucked a long errant curl behind his ear. 

Sy’s eyes went soft and he held your hands in your lap.

“Y’know, we don’t have to do anything tonight. We can dance all night if you want to. Bowl the blue balls away.”

You laughed and Sy fell in love even more. You were so beautiful.

“I love you, Buttercup, and us having sex or not won’t change that, not one bit.”

You melted as you stared at your handsome fella. He was fiddling with your hand, and then you felt something cold on your finger. You pulled your hand back and saw the delicate white gold ring with a tiny perfect diamond in the center that had been his grandmother’s.

You gasped.

“Sy!”

You looked from him to his grandmother’s ring. You’d come across it the first time you were over his house, ‘studying’ in his room on a chilly November night after football practice. You were being nosy and looking at everything you could touch as he went to get some snacks.

Sy was embarrassed when he came back and saw you with it. You thought he was mad at you for snooping, but he wasn’t. He’d told you that it was just a ‘tiny little ol’ ring, not worth anything,’ and that no one would want it, but that his Gran had left it for him to give to his future wife. 

“But, I’ll propose to someone with a bigger ring than this.”

Sy’s denim blue eyes held yours for a beat. Your heart flipped. You didn’t know why, because you’d only been talking for a couple of weeks and this was the first time you were alone together. 

You didn’t know that Sy was repeating something Becca had told him when she turned her nose up at the antique when she happened to see it, and you didn’t care as you took the black box and sat down on his bed. You stared at the ring inside like it was the crown jewels, and after about 5 minutes of studying it, you looked up at him. 

“Well. I think this ring is beautiful and precious. The detail is stunning. Your future wife would be lucky to get it.” 

That was exactly when Sy realized that he was in love with you.

Back in the Bronco outside of the prom, you were in disbelief.

“What are you doing Sy….?”

All of a sudden, you felt too young for this moment. But after only six short months together, Sy knew exactly what you were thinking.

“Calm down, Buttercup, this is just a promise ring.” 

He kissed your hand again. 

“I know we're jumpin' the gun, and we're both still young.” 

Those eyes held you in a trance.

“But one day, we won't be.”

“Oh, Sy…”

“It’s my promise to you, Buttercup. I will love you ‘til the day I die.”

And it seemed kinda crazy. But you believed him.

—-

May 2024

I made it this far without cryin' a single tear An' I'd sure hate to break down here Oh, no

It was either the music, the dancing, or the alcohol, or all three that made your mind up, but you were ready to listen to what Sy had to say. 

Stephanie Prince, the class president, was calling the Homecoming court up to the stage, and Sy looked that way. Anger bloomed again inside you.

Damnit, Sy needed to choose you this time.

“You still wanna talk, Sy?”

Your body language that screamed aggression: the cocked hip, the crossed arms that pushed up your tits, the tapping foot in those heels, all made Sy soft on the inside and hard on the outside for you. When he answered you, his voice broke. 

“Ye– yeah.”

Christ, you had him weak. But he made a decision, found his strength, and grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the Marriott.

You followed him obediently, and that set him on fire. He stopped and turned around when he reached the Bronco. 

But he didn’t let go of your hand.

You two stared at each other in the late spring night air, stars winking down on you two.

“So where we goin’, Sy?”

Being this close to him again, and the feeling of his touch made all those 20 year old pheromones perk up again. Damn, this man. 

This huge, handsome, hairy man.

“Where do you wanna go, Buttercup?”

What your brain was doing was insane, so you just kept silent.

Becoming mute was one of your tells. Sy was elated that maybe you wanted him, at least physically. He was so thirsty for you.

“Hm.”

Sy grunted, straightened up, loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt, all while still holding your hand. It was like he didn’t want to let you go. 

And he didn’t.

“Tell you what. Let’s take a spin in Betty. See what’s up in the ol’ town.”

Your eyes flicked toward the truck, and you knew it was dangerous.

But you were grown now. 

And so was Sy.

Sy led you around to the passenger side door to help you up into the high profile vehicle, leaning over you to buckle you in, only releasing you to put his hand on the door.

“I can’t believe you still have her,” you whispered, indicating the Bronco. “How is she still the exact same condition?”

“She’s been in storage for the better part of 20 years. Thought about her everyday though.”

Sy was looking at your lips, and the memories came flooding back.

“I bet she missed you.”

Sy cocked his head and his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. His voice came out gruff and he had to clear his throat again. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, Sy.”

Any smooth line was lost as his brain short circuited with the concentration it took to not kiss you right now. 

“Well, we’re about to have some fun together again, you, me, and Betty. Sit tight, pretty lady.” 

Your cheeks heated at the compliment.

“Ok, Captain.”

Sy actually blushed, shook his head and closed the door, leaving you to breathe in the old leather smell of the Bronco with your eyes closed, conveniently leaving him to pump his fist behind the car unseen by you. 

He got back in the car, jacket off. And he leaned near you to place it on the back seat, you got a whiff of him, the familiar cologne adding another dimension to your roiling senses.

When you opened your eyes, you witnessed him rolling his shirtsleeves up his forearms. He caught you ogling him and you gulped and crossed your own arms and legs, angling yourself to look out of the open window.

Sy looked over at you closing yourself off from him, then smashed the gas to make sure that you'd squeal and grab his arm like the good ol’ days as he peeled out of the parking lot, pedal so heavy like you were the two most wanted criminals in town.

—---

Hit reblog if you like it!

Next part Here

[accio-victuuri]

May CPNs round-up! ❤️💛💚

there is bonus content included here that i haven’t talked about separately in this blog so please enjoy!

• same apple headphones 🎧

• 5/6 zsww rumor

• genki forest ad silhouette similarities, and then it was replaced lol and sadly, they had to apologize.

• more examples of brands using the cp tactic ( allegedly lol )

• same city @ beijing 5/12/2024 but didn’t last long cause wyb had to fly to shanghai for the olympic qualifiers.

• jamy wee jeans

• fake story of wyb giving gifts to the ADLAD team and him visiting the crew which led to more people sharing some of their own szd stories that i didn’t add on the main post so i’m adding here instead. i think this started some conversation on what people heard irl about the two & how those who don’t really follow this pairing have encountered them. whether that means they are in a romantic relationship or not, we don’t know. these are all fake!!!! 💀💀💀

Let me tell you a story. A friend of mine told me that one of her college classmates participated in a hip-hop dance competition (SDC). Although she didn’t get a particularly impressive ranking, she was one of the top 100. Then she saw Xiao Zhan, and everyone knew that they were in a relationship, so they didn’t hesitate to visit him on set. What I said is just a rough estimate. I don’t have a membership so I can’t send pictures. I can swear that what I said is true, not a single word is fake, unless my friend lied to me, but I believe in my friend’s character

I'd also like to contribute a relatively old story, although many people should know it hahaha, that is, the two of them share resources. Someone around my friend is a staff member, and has read the confidentiality agreement of Zan Studio, which seems to say that there can be no conflict of interest with Bo, and to satisfy Bo to the greatest extent. Because Zan has a studio, resources are more free, and if there is something suitable for Bo, he will contact him directly. ( this was in 2020 )

Then I will also share my own experience. I participated in a New Year's Eve party. The lady sitting next to me is from the industry. She is not familiar with Bo Xiao, but the artist she knows has a good relationship with Xiao Xiao. The artist told her that Xiao had a boyfriend in the CQL crew. The artist told Xiao not to date him. Xiao Zhan said firmly, "I will not break up with my boyfriend."

I'll tell you one, my friend's sister is Jixiangkong's assistant, her sister doesn't like xx, um, she's a wyb fan, my friend knows I'm a fan and told me that her sister took a photo with wyb, I asked her indirectly to find out, she said her sister refused to tell, it was around 2019, she suddenly told me that her sister was a little bit abnormal, one day she said for no reason that wyb has turned gay.

My friend is a director of a certain Spring Festival Gala, and his family also works in this field. He has some connections. He used to think I was a fan of him and told me not to be a fan because he likes men. (To prevent screenshots, I can't say whether he is older or younger)

I'll also contribute one. My friend's dance teacher has been with the CQL crew, and after knowing that my friend likes Xiao Xiao, she told my friend that they were dating in CQL. My friend was almost broken. (She wf) ( wf means weifen = solo fan )

• a more comprehensive post about the airpods max cpn 🎧

• 5/14/24 xz’s selfie candies and i forgot to add another bit here, particularly the view from the window— it’s the backdrop for yibo’s chanel magazine cover. i would imagine it’s a popular scenic view but i’m just putting it out there 📷

then after the selfies, xzs released a short video of that day when it was taken. people did cpn of course but i’m just adding those here. so what we noticed is the two birds at the start, lovebirds? and then panning to xz who some say hid his phone or was looking at it then took it away because the camera was on him.

then a very galaxy brain one, and a total coincidence — outside the car, a police car passed by and people are like omg fpu ( formed police unit ) lol. but like if you watch that part, it was a perfect shot.

then some fans noticed similarities with the shots from wyb’s b&w photography 📷

• this next one is not really a cpn but more of me being proud of them and the works they produced. their popularity/traffic is important & definitely has helped them get projects, but we know that they give it their all when it becomes to being actors. the photos below are of the chinese films booth in cannes with both their movies and then the May schedule of their dramas’ reruns in satellite tv networks.

who would have known, they were once these two newbies who wanted to become actors and here we are — both of them have a solid body of work. 🤍

• clowning related to xz’s legend of zanghai poster

• 5/15 candies that revolves around wyb’s performance for the olympics opening. most especially his green + pink shoes 💕

• evisu x palace shirt that sneakily has their names on it

• 5/16 LRLG post and interpretations and then add-on speculation of relating this to the milan vlog and what some shots could mean

• their tissue endorsements matching so well. 💙♥️ and representing their cql character colors too!

• 5/20/24 zsww fake rumor - new clothes for jianguo, bickering and eating spicy food

• numbers playing for 520. 9785 and 828

• palace x wedgwood collab 🍓

• cpfs having discussions and comparisons to yy’s scandal to prove that bjyxszd

• 5/23/2024 fake rumor house

• XZ’s look for an endorsement Ad ( Liushen ). the whole fit and even the brand used screams WYB! 😂

• rumor compilation from 给博肖加点小料bot. from the past dates 2/24, 3/3, 3/26, 4/3, 4/29, 5/21 and 5/29.

• xz buying mcdo toys 🍔

• in the li-ning video released 5/31 xz was asked if he plays badminton and what he does during off times and the first thing he said is talk to his friend(s). who is that friend? is this the friend from the crew? 😜 no seriously. then after that he mentioned playing badminton, running and keeping fit. but the fact that he said talking to his friend? wow.

• the pink wedding theme potential from xz’s evelom outfit 💕💕🌸🌸

<<< previous month

[roomsofangel]

IN THE ABSENCE OF EVERYTHING, I PROMISE TO KEEP YOU WARM . . jeong yunho

“you’ve ruined me for anyone else, i don’t think i could ever stop loving you even if i wanted to.”

pairing idol!yunho x fem!reader

one sided dislike/hatred. sunshine x grumpy. could be seen as an enemies to lovers but it’s all one sided on y/n’s end and she just doesn’t like him in the beginning while yunho is completely oblivious, but still matches her energy.

genre angst, fluff, smut, fic.

synopsis ateez are on a much needed break after their recent comeback — traveling overseas for a short-term vacation, yunho desires nothing more than just to ease himself and let go of worries.

but with a run in with someone he deems an angel in human skin, yunho learns she doesn’t know who he is and pretends to be someone else.

filled with secrets and a burning romance, yunho learns that no matter what you do or how hard you try, life just isn’t fair.

and he only had himself to blame.

warnings mature themes, mainly due to language. a lot of dishonesty. hurt without comfort if i’m being honest. nsfw later on. arguments and miscommunication. reader and yunho don’t have a good first impression at all, and they both don’t use the most nicest words at first. a lot of talk of mental health, exhaustion, and being overworked.

notes this is told in past tense, yunho’s pov. think of it as you are listening to him tell the story after it all ended, only knowing his side. this was also going to be a one shot, but i instead have changed my mind and went with original idea when first planning this, and this will be a fic.

a/n this is a repost! so if it sounds familiar i originally posted this with my old blog mothworked!

status ongoing

started 05/06/23

completed n/a

reblogs & comments are very appreciated and also help out a lot! thank you for reading and giving my work a chance ^_^

. . . # chapters !

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | to be continued. .

PREVIEW BELOW. . !

yunho hasn’t been happy in a while.

he doesn’t know when or where this sudden realization came into place, nor does he know when the feeling of numbness even decided to pop in for a chat as if it was a distant relative who came over for the holidays and refused to be put to bed.

he just knows he hasn’t been the same person after their comeback — assuming that he was only overworked, this will cease.

it didn’t.

his hands shoved his clothes into the oversized suitcase, hearing the zipper tug and close his belongings all tightly knit together, yunho let out a huff of air, allowing himself to pause for a minute, take in everything while staring blank at the pompompurin keychain he had setting on his nightstand with the mental reminder to hook it onto his bag to match with mingi — “will this actually do anything?” he voiced outloud, grumbling before pulling and rolling the suitcase off his bed and down the hall, “i’m here.”

the first person to lift their heads towards him was hongjoong who smiled in response, eyes showing he was just as exhausted and eager for this break, “does anyone know where we’ll be going?” he asked

“california — not so bad, huh?” seonghwa acknowledged, a light tone to ease the tension created from just the lack of care to their needs that begun to radiate off of then in their tones and actions

and yunho wanted to believe him, he really did.

but the feeling in his chest was yelling at him otherwise.

“san’s birthday is coming up,” yeosang mentioned one night while he and yunho unpacked, the two sharing a room together after losing a game of rock paper scissors

yunho could recall the shade the walls were painted, green lily. mingi was the one who mentioned the color by name and it had made them all erupt in fits of giggles on how — and why, he knew something like that but thanked him nonetheless, san announcing the dorms should be painted the same shade before getting a pillow aimed towards his head by a sleepy jongho

and now, yunho was scurrying around downtown LA, attempting to find a good present for his friend. why was gift shopping so hard? would san even like it? no, scratch that, san loved anything given to him — he was just a big ball of sunshine.

it was yunho who wouldn’t deem it good enough.

maybe coffee would help, yeah, that would. just something to distract his neverending nerves so he can think better. he should’ve asked seonghwa, he thought to himself.

the sky was clear, the sun being bright and reflecting on his freshly dyed scalp, it was his mind that was clouded and unable to steer in one set direction — not fully processing where he was going, only aware he was aiming towards that coffee shop he noticed. oh, if he knew then, he would’ve turned around.

colliding with a body, soft gasps and cold drink being spilled on his warm skin, “fuck,” he cursed out loud at the sudden temperature and new situation

and that’s when his eyes met yours.

but with the way his day and emotions had been, he didn’t intend for his next words to be come off so harsh, “i’m sorry”

you looked at him with an annoyed expression, brows knitted tightly together, “just watch where you’re going now i have to deal with a day without my drink.”

scoffing, yunho shook his head, “i wouldn’t be talking if i were you, you basically were fucking naurto running into my chest,”

you let out a huff, “naurto running?!” running your fingers through your hair, you shook your head, “if i wasn’t so mad, i would have laughed.”

“i can get you another one,” yunho tried to compromise, not wanting a feud with a stranger over a drink

plus, he wasn’t sure if you knew he was an idol and if you did, he didn’t have any desire to end up on an article, his thoughts broken by your scoff

“no fuck you, i wanted that one,” you folded your arms over your chest, eyes darting to the floor before you started getting napkins to clean up, yunho unaware of why he followed behind

“are you this uptight all the time?” yunho blurted, earning his chest to hit your back before you turned with raised brows

“only to dumbasses who make me spill my drink.”

“touché.”

he finally convinced you to let him get you another drink, taking a seat by you while the straw was between your lips and your fingertips tapped the cold plastic cup that had water droplets decorating, “you can leave now,” you said

“don’t flatter yourself, i ordered something too,” yunho shook his head

you sneered, “your presence just annoys me.”

yunho leaned forward, propping himself up with his elbows as he looked at you with a mocking grin to tease you more, “is that any way to talk to me after i got you another tea, which may i add, at a coffee shop?” he paused, looking at you taking a bite of your cake pop, “plus that cake pop.”

“yeah.” you shrugged

yunho ordered hot chocolate, his intentions were to get an iced americano but with the day he was having, his taste changed for today, his hands holding the warm wrapped brownie he hoped to enjoy if not giving it to san later

you teased him about it which was fair, he did so about your tea.

“what’s your name?” he asked

met with silence.

“hello, are you deaf?” he titled his head in response, you looking at him with a teasing grin

“for you, yeah.”

ignoring what you had said, yunho straightened his posture, “i’m yunho and you are?”

and yet again, met with your silence

“you’re making this really herd,” he huffed

“that’s the goal.” you replied

yunho didn’t know how much longer the two of you sat in silence, eating and drinking before you began getting up to clean your area, he remembered how the strands of your hair fell in front of your face and you harshly moved them aside in annoyance, jaw clenched while you got your bag that he didn’t realize you had with you — eyed landing on a specific dangling keychain that resembled the one he had connected, before he could make a comment about coincidences, you spoke

“y/n.”

“huh?” he questioned

you dusted yourself off and laughed, “my name is y/n, you asswipe.”

that was the first time he met you

and sometimes he wished he would’ve left you alone after that

maybe the two of you would have been better

maybe you wouldn’t hate him this much

and maybe he could’ve done things differently if he had another chance

but you won’t give him one

and he knows he doesn’t deserve it after what he did.

it was almost fate.

the situation and timing could come off as such — at least, yunho wanted to believe the two of you were starcrossed lovers destined to get it right either in this life or the next one.

he didn’t expect to see you there, polished and composed, the opposite of who he met the day prior. you radiated something that he knew he wouldn’t be able to get enough of.

and he couldn’t.

even now, he found himself drowning in your memory and wanting to be swept under permanently — it nearly sounds as if he was praying for a fatal outcome, but he did not want to die. he just wanted his heart back.

the same one that still stayed in your hands while yours was forcibly removed from his

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi FAQ

Before you send an ask consider checking this FAQ! I'm trying to compile some of the most common questions I see in my notes and inbox. Feel free to send me an ask anyway if you find anything confusing!

But first just some things about asks... I read all of them and feel kinda bad when I don't respond but I can't really respond to everything so:

Most likely will respond:

Requests for sources/images

Requests for links to other posts

Questions about the story or characters

Questions about my opinion on canon content/speculation based on canon

Most likely won't respond: (I'm more likely to respond the first two on my personal sideblog)

Headcanons/Shipping

Jokes

Discourse/Rants

Questions that are worded in a "leading" way to stir up drama.

You can also ask for compilation requests but I might take a while to answer those!

FAQ under the cut (there's spoilers)

FAQ

First of all just a disclaimer that I don't actually know everything I try to put sources on the posts but if you see anything wrong here please let me know!

Q: Where is this extra/information from?

A: Dungeon Meshi has several worldbuilding details and extra comics in different publications. You can check this post with the places where the extras/information sources

If you wanna know the source for a specific extra don't be afraid to ask!

Q: Have you ever posted about [subject]

A: I haven't posted about everything related to dungeon meshi but please check my pinned post! I have a list of tags there, if you don't find specifically what you were looking try to search for it on my blog, I do my best to tag stuff so it can be found. If you still have trouble just send me an ask and I can link you the tag!

Q: How old is Thistle?

A: Who knows! Most likely he's under 80 (16 in tallmen years) my best guess is that he's 14.

Q: Is there a Post Canon Updated Melini Map?

A: Not really (Spoilers)

Q: Isn't Izutsumi a cat that was transformed into a human?

A: That's not a very accurate description, Izutsumi is a beastkin who was created using ancient magic by fusing the soul of a 6 year old child with the soul of a cat monster known as a greater cat. She's not "A cat that was turned into a human" nor a "human that was turned into a cat" as my understanding goes she was both and now she's still both, spoilers but the plot twist of the Lycion extra is that she can never be fully human again (there's more monster than human so she can't transform between the forms like Lycion)

I made a few posts about it

Q: Are fairies made of Jizz? How do females make them? How come Mithrun's doesn't look like him? Can other races make them?

A: Yes. They probably borrow some. Another person feeds it blood. Probably? For better answers please check the fairy tag LOL

Q: Are there monsters outside dungeons?

A: All points to yes, dungeons just seem to have a higher density of mana which allows more monsters to survive in a higher population.

Q: Is resurrection possibly in any dungeons or only in The Island?

A: According to the adventurer's bibles most man-made dungeons have the revival magic active. Here's a post all about resurrection and healing magic:

Q: Why did Fleki get brain damage when her Familiar got destroyed and Marcille didn't?

A: Probably has something to do with the complexity of the familiar and the strength of the connection, lots of people sent some theories pleas check the familiars tag if you wanna read up.

Q: What does the tattoos mean? What do Magic Tattoos do? Only beastmen have tattoos?

A: Those are Magic Tattoos, they work as a supplement for magic, I assume similar to magic circles or magic runes they use in other places in the anime, they aren't necessarily only for beastmen

Q: How does Magic/The Winged Lion/Dungeons work? (and related questions)

A: I made a post about dungeons you might wanna check, haven't done specific posts for the greater demon/winged lion but you can check the tags for some theories/other asks!

Q: What happened to [character] after the end?

A: The adventurer's bible has a blurb about what everyone got into in the post canon, I don't have a post compiling it all but you can check the post canon tag some of it is there.

Q: Can you help me with [resource for cosplay/art/oc]

A: I'd love to! I have a tag for art reference, cosplay reference and oc reference but if you still need help send an ask!

I'll add more things later if I see more common questions

Mini FAQ about the person running this blog (cause I get a couple of questions sometimes)

Q: Whats your pronouns? Are you brazilian? What do I call you?

A: There's a tiny about me section at the end of my pinned post I'd rather you use she/her or he/him, but they/them is fine, I'm very brazilian and you can call me whatever, Cyan is just a suggestion. You can also check this side blog, it's me

Q: What do you think about [headcanon]/[ship]

A: Updating this answer: I am still afraid of discourse so I don't wanna answer those here but if you wanna know about it feel free to ask on my personal blog I mentioned before! (I feel less anxious there cause it's smaller, only the strong ones survive me changing fandoms every 10 seconds)

Q: Could you tag [thing]

A: Yes! Please tell me if you'd like me to tag something, both cws or just something you think would be useful to search for. I'm very unaware of what can be upsetting ngl so I often forget to tag 'obvious' triggers, I'm also forgetful and have trouble expressing myself, so feel free to tell me if I said something weird but be nice pwease

[justthemis124]

My opinion on “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez story” PART I

If some of you guys have read my presentation post, you know that this show encouraged me to create this blog, because after finishing the last episode, I just needed to talk about it to someone. Unfortunately nobody I know has seen it or is even interested in seeing it. Anyway that’s not the point, I have a lot of things to say about the show, that’s why this post is only a part 1, and I’ll try my best to organize my thoughts as best as I can.

You can read part II just here :))

I. THE RYAN MURPHY PROBLEM

I feel like I needed to start with the most obvious one.

So first of all you need to know that my only knowledge of Ryan Murphy comes from the 5 seasons of American Horror Story that I watched. And the thing that I noticed straight away when watching AHS was the omnipresence of very, very uncomfortable and weird s*x scenes. Every 5 seconds you get these scenes that serve no purpose to the plot whatsoever, it feels like they’re there just for the sake of making people uncomfortable and satisfying whatever perverse desire Ryan Murphy has. Now, I’ll say that American Horror Story is fictional and that, at the end of the day, no matter how disgusting these scenes are, they remain in the fictional realm.

BUT the problem is that RM has clearly brought his weird and obscene fantasies into the world of what I can only think of calling “True Fiction” (a show or movie based on real events, and that wants itself to be accurate). It’s something that you can so clearly see in each and every episode of the show, and while watching it, I remember thinking how disgusting it was that this almost 60 years old man was just forcing his perversion into a representation of literal victims of incestuous s*xual abuse. And I genuinely cannot express how sick to my stomach it makes me.

Furthermore, I think that it is also very clear whose side Ryan Murphy seems to be on, and in my opinion and based on the way he decided to portray the brothers, I think that he clearly thinks that the boys are liar. Which okay, he is of course entitled to his opinion on the matter, even if I (along with a lot people) strongly disagree with it. The problem is that he should not bring his opinion into the show and make his opinion seem like the real and factual events.

On that same note, I’m sure most of you are aware, but Erik released a statement through his wife about the show, I’ll put it below :

And I’m so glad he spoke up and said how much fake things, inaccurate portrayals and misinformation this show was spreading. Unfortunately, Ryan Murphy responded to this statement, in the worst manner possible, here is his response below :

I find it absolutely insane to tell people, whose life you tried to recreate on screen, that you did an amazing job at it while these persons themselves tell you that you failed to put in light the truth that they spent their whole lives trying to be heard.

In conclusion on this whole part about Ryan Murphy, I was just really disappointed in the way that he produced and realised the whole show as well as the way he handled the aftermath of its release, this man even had the audacity to say that he had no interest in talking to the brothers so that tells us everything that we need to know about him. And I think that he should just stick to fiction and stop trying to film true crime shows if he’s gonna ignore the facts and just build the show on his opinion instead.

II. THE PORTRAYAL OF THE BROTHERS

The issue with the portrayals of the brothers is obviously directly linked to Ryan Murphy but I wanted to dedicate a part about it and not it be a sub part to the RM problem.

When I was watching the show, the first thing that struck me was the portrayal of Lyle. I was familiar with the Menendez case way before the show because, like a lot of people, I had watched the trials on YouTube. And while I cannot claim to know what Lyle is like, and none of us can, because we don’t know him, I was still quite shocked to see the way they made him act on the show. I guess that this arrogant, angry, violent and spoiled rich kid act just wasn’t what I was expecting, along with a lot of people. And we were right to find this representation to be odd because Erik, himself, talked about how inaccurate and defamatory this representation of Lyle was in his statement that you can read above in the Ryan Murphy problem.

So there's already that. And then, the worst part in my opinion, is the way that Lyle and Erik were, first of all, highly s*xualized and also represented as if they were in some kind of incestuous relationship with each other. If we focus for a second on the s*xualization of the brothers, the first example that comes to my mind is the shower scene with Erik in prison. What purpose does that scene serve in the telling of Erik and Lyle's story? I cannot help but think that this is just another manifestation of Ryan Murphy's perverted mind. On that same note (I'm gonna try and explain this next part as best as I can) but I think we all know now that RM has a tendency to cast attractive actors for these type of roles (ex: Evan Peters as Jeffrey Dahmer) to later s*xualize them non stop. And words are failing me to express how wrong that is, because in Dahmer's case he was literally s*xualizing a serial killer, and in the Menendez' case, victims of incestuous s*xual abuse. Again I fail to understand how this man doesn't see any wrong in that.

Now, about the representation of the brothers' relationship. As I was watching the show, I remember noticing all these little things that were insinuating that something romantic was going on between them, again I cannot express how uncomfortable it made me, I can only assume that it was the case for everyone else watching. And again, I cannot find the words to say how disgusting and sick this is. Because here is the thing, so we know that Erik was m*lested by Lyle, because Lyle was himself being abused by José Menendez, he was child and he didn't know any better than to try and recreate what he though was an act of love. BUT knowing that and willingly deciding to subtly portray these brothers as if they were in a consensual incestuous relationship is digusting and sickening.

And I want to clarify that this critic of their portrayal is aimed at Ryan Murphy and in no way at the actors, I will be talking about the actors' work in the second part, in another post.

Alright guys that's it for the first part of my opinion on "Monsters", I hope that maybe some of the points I addressed will help you see the show in another light if you didn't share my point of view. And if my post didn't convince you of anything and if you disagree with me on certain point, please leave a comment so we can discuss it :)

The second part will be focusing on the portrayal of José and Kitty Menendez as well as the work of the actors.

See you in the next post!

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

So uh...that thing I said about my tma hyperfixation slipping recently? Well, I wasn't lying, but...holy shit, if it didn't come back quicker than I expected! As I'm sure many of you are aware, they recently announced a live performance happening in London surrounding Hill Top Road, and...I am so ridiculously excited for it. Now that I've booked my tickets, I am wholeheartedly back on the listening train and set on finishing it before October 30th next year.

As I have said in current my pinned post, I don't think I'll be continuing to write down all of my thoughts for every episode, both because I don't have the time or energy, and because I want to start using this blog for pleasure more and just post about whatever thing's on my mind. That being said, I finally got back into the podcast with MAG 87 (a bit of a weird new start, I know, but...whatever), and...I definitely have some things to say about it! So uh...yeah, read beneath the cut if you want to hear a bit of that! :)

But first, I'd just like to give some brief thoughts on MAG 85 and 86. Unfortunately it's been quite a while since I last listened to them, and I don't really have much motivation to go back and re-listen, since I'd like to keep things moving forward, so...a lot of my hyper-specific thoughts have evaded me. That being said...I thoroughly enjoyed both of them!

MAG 85...despite being extremely frustrating to form any coherent thoughts about, was an absolutely stellar episode! And I mean...being confusing is kind of the point so I can't complain that much. Like, it is entirely impossible for me to decipher this one, I can't tell if it means fuck all or is the most important thing ever, but...whatever, it was good! It's no secret at this point that I really like all of the stuff surrounding The Spiral (particularly a certain distorted door man...), so this was obviously a great time for me and was stellarly written. I did find quite a bit of intrigue in the post-statement though, namely Georgie....I mean, bless her heart, but holy shit she needs to re-think her dating life, and also what is seemingly the reveal of the name of one of Gertrude's late assistants. ...Eric Delano. At first I didn't think much of this name reveal, I mean, I assumed we'd learn more about him later, but the intial reveal doesn't tell us much. However...for reasons I'll explain later, I recently reffered back to the transcript for MAG 62, and...wouldn't you know it, Mary mentioned an Eric back there, one that both she and Gertrude are familiar with. I have no idea what his connection to the former could be if there really was one at all, but uh...based on the context he's brought up in, I'm guessing that his death had something to do with whichever one of ✨the horrors✨ he was devoted to (likely The Eye if he was indeed an archival assistant, but...then again Gertrude's alliegance to it as The Archivist can still be questioned so I'm not saying anything conclusive for the time being), and the "what's left of him" remark means his death was...probably a bit of a slow build. Anyways...all very interesting.

Now, as for MAG 86...holy fucking shit. As far as I can tell this one if quite infamous among the fandom, and...yeah, I can certainly sympathize! I really don't think I have much more to say about the statement that hasn't already been said, but just...wow. It's another example of a statement that doesn't really seem connected to the overarching plot, (I mean...there are some similarities between the monster in this episode and Maxwell Rayner, but I feel like I'm supposed to read into that more than the two almost certainly being extensions/servants of the same darkness power, plus if we assume that the Rayner body swapping theory is true, and that he only does so when the current one is starting to get really old, and specifically targets children for hosts, then like...why is he possessing an adult? Why was he outside of a body for so long? This is a really long section inside parentheses holy shit.) but it is just...so incredibly memorable and terrifying. The way that throughout the entire episode, it builds up its concept of a monster that is one with the darkness of night itself and only encroaches towards when you aren't conciously hiding from it underneath a blanket, but then at the very last minute completely subverts this idea by revealing that its patterns were just a farce meant to lure Benjamin into a false sense of security...it's genuinely haunting. And of course "The blanket never did anything" is a quote for the ages, like...just wow. (Also the way it left a noticeable stain on him reminded me of Void from Hollow Knight but that's off-topic).

Otherwise though, this episode had a lot of great non-statement content! While I am...still absolutely terrified by the prospect of Melanie working at the institute now, along with her blatant naivete and denial (although granted I'm thankful that she's much more open to investigating what the hell is happening than Season 1 Jon was), I really liked her reading the statement here. Lydia Nicholas does a great job making her read sound different from the statements Melanie gave herself, I mean...she genuinely sounds horrified by the end which like...same girl. I also love how she says "marker" at the beginning and end, it's such a small but charming detail that highlights how she's still used to her old way of looking into and documenting the paranormal really well. Also, somewhat off-topic but...WHY THE HELL DOES ROBIN PATTON SOUND SO MUCH LIKE GEORGIE'S SHITTY DATE?! Like...I was so prepared to learn that Georgie got mauled by a shadow monster upon listening to MAG 87 but...nope! Genuinely...what was up with that? Uh...regardless, we also have Tim who...I found to be VERY interesting in this episode. Firstly...the line "Who am I even sad for?" was just...an absolute gut punch. It's no secret that anything regarding the inherent tragedy of Sasha's character is enough to make me cry, but like...despite my occasional frustrations with him, it's stuff like this that makes me feel like...just, Tim Stoker, they could never make me hate you. But outside of that...something is absolutely up with him.

I just...find it so weird that he seems to almost instantly recognize what happened when Melanie starts talking about the two Sashas, like...how is it that HE seems so understanding of what's going on when she, the only person other than Elias who was able to see through the facade, really isn't? I mean, sure, there have been a few statements about The NotThem before, but only one of them actually had the archival assistants involved in any follow-up, and I mean...Tim is like the office diva who's just here for shits and giggles! ...That's an overexxageration, I'm sure he had his reasons for joining the institute that'll be revealed in the future, I'm just saying he's absolutely the most lax person here, albeit the way in which he's lax has changed over time. But like, why does he, of all people, remember this singular statement that he looked into over a year ago at this point in the timeline? I mean, I guess he did take a bit of an interest in the table when it was delivered to the institute, and was also the one to tell Jon about the delivery, but...Jon himself didn't even clock that the table and The NotThem were inherently connected to one another until after reading Lawrence Moore's statement and hearing about how Adelard Dekker bound the thing, so why should I expect Tim to be any better? Just...what is the deal here? On top of that, I found it really interesting how he just...stopped reading the statement and went on a rant at the beginning. As far as we can tell, statements seem to...draw people into them in a less than normal way, likely explaining why they portray the person who gave it while reading out loud, and why they seem so shocked and breathless when they stop (except for Jon but granted he's been doing this for a while whereas Martin and Melanie are new to this). The only other exceptions to this are Elias, who's method of reading "Alice Tonner's Statement" were...unique to say the least (and is also a practically confirmed to be claimed by The Eye like Jon while the archival assistants might just be touched so...there's also that), and Gertrude, who is...admittedly a bit of a mystery, but if we go with the assumption that as The Archivist she was also claimed by The Eye like Jon and probably all before her, and take some of her, um...fiery machinations into account, then...yeah, I feel confident in saying there was probably a bit of resistance to all of this spooky archive shit on her part.

So then, what's the deal with Tim? I mean, I once proposed the idea that "statement begins" is a sort of paranormal trigger phrase that draws people into the statements as an explanation for why Gertrude, a character who doesn't say that, seems so unfazed while and after reading a statement, but...this episode actually deconfirms that notion, because Melanie doesn't say it and still comes out uneasy. So...Tim not saying "statement begins" probably means very little. I mean...I guess it also felt like Melanie was getting drawn in over time so...maybe the fact that Tim didn't even start the actual story has something to do with it? Well like...my point is, this and the instant understanding of what happened to Sasha is enough to make me feel mighty suspicious of Tim. Like, I don't think he's some evil villain or anything but...I mean to say that he's shifted from "just some guy who got stuck in this whole mess" to "someone who might very well have a much bigger stake in the lore and narrative than I initially thought". And like...I know Season 2 Jon was an insane bastard who was not to be trusted but honestly...I also kind of think it's weird Tim came to the institute despite there being no history in paranormal studies on his record. So...what do I think's going on with him? Well...I think he very well might have some sort of connection to The Stranger. I don't get the sense that he's actually working for it or is in on The Unknowing or something, because even thought deceit and false appearances is kind of The Stranger's thing from what I can garner...Tim seems pretty genuine in his confusion. If not, then "Who am I even sad for?" would have significantly less weight to it. But...I just wonder if maybe he's been touched by it beyond just being decieved by The NotThem, and...maybe that has something to do with his past. It would explain why he recognized what was going on with Sasha after hearing Melanie's account (I am...very tempted to say that he lost someone to The NotThem before, but...I don't know how you'd expand on that given that the thing is currently rotting in an underground ditch. Sure, it's not actually dead and could theoretically bust out at any moment, but...eh...we'll see), and mabe also why he was able to seemingly tear himself away from the statement, since The Eye and The Stranger seem to be VERY naturally opposed, maybe more than they are to any other one of ✨the horrors✨, except for MAYBE the darkness because The Divine Host's insignia is literally a closed eye. Ultimately...these are just two relatively small details and I'm making a lot of assumptions based on them, but...I really feel like something interesting is about to happen with Tim. I mean, I really hope so, I've said before that I badly want to see more about his character get revealed so that I can form a more clear opinion on him, but...I'll just have to wait and see.

And then finally, something that really surprised me...Melanie and Jon meeting up! This was a delighful surprise, not only because I love their interactions with one another, but also because...it's really interesting plot-wise. Firstly, we got some more information on Melanie getting "sort of shot" (it's been months and I still have not stopped thinking about that). Apparently she was shot in the leg...by a ghost. Oh...homegirl is so haunted by one of ✨the horrors✨ and it is not even funny anymore. I don't really have much to say about this reveal, other than that...I'm very intrigued by it and hope she makes another statement of her own soon. Because uh...that sounds important. Anyways, I think the most interesting thing here is the deal made between the two of them. Melanie helping Jon out with gathering additional resources is very intriguing...kind of, I mean, I'm writing this post-MAG 87 so I already have a decent idea of what her doing this for him might do...and given the context I kind of hope she doesn't help him with what he's trying to do because I prefer my archivist raw and not cooked but...we'll get to that. But uh...otherwise, I am EXTREMELY interested by the fact that Jon has...supposedly told Melanie everything. Like...I desperately need to listen to MAG 88 right after I post this just so that I can hopefully see the fallout of that conversation at the institute. Like...will they learn about Sasha, Leitner, Elias, Gertrude, ✨THE FUCKING HORRORS✨?! Just...how do you reveal all of that to the new girl at the institue when meeting up at a café, and better yet, how do you expect her to share all of that information with her new coworkers she barely knows at a place where they are constantly being watched by a guy who probably doesn't want them knowing that?! And like...how the hell do you "start with Sasha?" Like, I have genuinely tried imagining that conversation between Jon and Melanie in my head multiple times (i swear I am a normal person), and...I just cannot make that work. Like Melanie, I'm sorry, but Magnus Institute Lore 101 requires that you start with the worm lady, okay? Just...wow...how is that going to go down? Anyways...those are my main thoughts on MAG 86! ....Yeah, the disparity in stuff to say between this and MAG 85 is kind of laughable. I swear I like it, I just...cannot write anything coherent about it. Regardless...onto the main event!

But before that....just one little thing I recently realized regarding the episode "Hide and Seek" namely its title. Not only does it refer to The NotThem chasing Jon, but...I just realized that The Stranger "hides" and The Eye "seeks", but in this episode, the seeker is a manifestation of The Stranger and the hider is a man claimed by The Eye. ...God damn that is really clever.

So...MAG 87. ...I would say I was surprised that definitely not Elias Bouchard managed to find out where Jon was hiding Gertrude's tapes but...I'm not. Because. Come on. Man...I just realized how unfortunate it is that right after Basira gave him that gold mine of information, he was forced to leave all of that knowledge behind. ...Yikes. Anyways, uh...I guess I should start with the statement here! Let's get the obvious out of the way. Sebastian Skinner you will always be famous. Put this man right next to Joshua Gillespie and Karolina Górka and let them form the most powerful polycule in human history because OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM. King and patron saint to all neurodivergents across the globe, he deserves all the riches he could ever desire. Yeah...despite all of the genuinely unnerving imagery and lore revelations in this episode, I have to say that Sebastian alone makes this one of the funniest episodes in the show by far. The man is LITERALLY asked to unclog human flesh from a sewage pipe in a creepy building in the woods by a very creepy woman who offers to FLENSE him...and he is just completely unfazed by and oblivious to the whole situation. I just...I can't get over that. In fact, he is so unbothered by it that Megan is GENUINELY APPALLED by it, but also so ammused that she calls over a servant of a completely different member of ✨the horrors✨ to LAUGH ABOUT IT, and then calls him back, not even to neccessarily kill him, but just to rub it in his face how actually scary things are. Just...absolute comedy gold, I love it. I will remember this man always, and it is actually kind of heartbreaking that he did not survive in the end if Gertrude's comments are anything to go off of (also yes hi Gertrude I missed you :D).

Outside of that though...yikes was this a freaky one. I mean, really only the second half if I'm being honest, the first part was still hilarious. Just like...so much disturbing imagery. The way he describes "Megan" burying her plastic hands into his skin, how Jude Perry just cruelly laughs as he cries out for help, and then a workshop filled with a bunch more of the sentient mannequins from MAG 83 skinning a bunch of severed heads, it's just...ugh! Same goes for Megan's face slipping away and Jude burning his shoulder right as it seemed like she was going to let him get away, just...yeah, very disturbing statement. Overall I really liked it, good mix of comedy and horror that builds the plot surrounding The Stranger, The Unknowing, and...surprisingly The Lightless Flame up really well. And speaking of which...

The best part of this episode for me is definitely all of the new information it gives us and the way it pushes the plot forward, both in the statement and the comments made by Gertrude and Jon. In general, I feel like Season 3 has done a great job at pushing the plot forward so far, even if it's felt a bit slow for me due to my hiatus. Firstly, I'd like to discuss what we learned about The Unknowing, because...wow. Now, Jon says that he believes The Unknowing is a "ritual" and...yeah, there probably is some truth to that. Now, I do still think that the destruction of The Magnus Institute probably plays into The Unknowing, both for reasons that I've discussed before, none of which have been debunked here as far as I'm concerned, but also because this episode confirms that while The Stranger is definitely the one leading the operation, other members of ✨the horrors✨ have the potential to get involved as well, namely what we now know is called "The Devastation". Amazing name by the way, I especially appreciate its existence because it was getting annoying having to differentiate between "Lightless Flame" as in the power and "Lightless Flame" as in the cult. Now, I know that Gertrude kind of suggests it is possible that Jude Perry (who uh...yeah! Really cool to get a new named freaky person here!) was just here for shits and giggles, and I mean...to an extent she probably was given Sebastian being a guy that exists, but let's assume that she actually is working with agents of The Stranger on The Unknowing. Now, as far as I can discern, there...really doesn't seem to be much that would make The Stranger and The Devastation natural allies when you look at things through a thematic lense. Like, compare this to The Vast, the isolation power and the darkness power, all of whom are allied via Daedalus, and you have clear thematic correlation. The Lukases, Fairchilds and Divine Host are working together because of the loneliness, size and darkness of space. Meanwhile, The Stranger and The Devastation don't have much in common...except for a common enemy. ...Or rather, seperate enemies that are allied with one another. Yeah so...The Stranger hates The Eye and The Devastation hates The Spider, and it does seem like The Eye and The Spider are allied in a number of places. Now, according to Gertrude, The Lightless Flame had...plans of their own that recently "went up in flames" (she actually said that by the way, I never thought I would hear her tell a joke), likely due to the loss of Agnes as we can tell she was definitely important to her given all of her "destiny" talk. Er, on that note, I guess I should mention that it's entirey possible that Jude Perry is the only member of The Lightless Flame allied with The Stranger, since all of the other named ones (Agnes, Diego and Arthur) are....very very dead, while she is implied to still be out there. Regardless, this makes me think that her and/or The Lightless Flame's involvement with The Unknowing could be a sort of...next best option. Like, maybe their plans involved getting rid of The Spider, but since Agnes' death has left them in disarray, their siding with the member of ✨the horrors✨ who seeks to take down The Spider's bestie. And...the best way to do that is probably through wrecking the institute. So uh...yeah, I definitely think that The Unknowing will involve destroying the institute, but...I have reason to suspect there's more too it than just that.

My reason is...well, Gertrude was actively trying to stop it. We know that she and Leitner tried to burn down the institute, or at least the archives, right before her death, so if The Unknowing only sought to do the same thing as her...why would she try to stop it? There has to be something else it seeks to achieve, and we have...at least an inkling of an idea of what that might be now. But um...on the note of Gertrude wanting to stop it, there's that! We now know for certain that Gertrude was not just fighting against The Eye from within the institute, but also The Stranger as well...which makes me think she was probably fighting against all of ✨the horrors✨, if the fact she was against two immortal enemies is anything to go off of. I also think this episode debunks the idea that she was secretly a servant of The Devastation due to her tendency to burn and explode, both because of what I just said but also because she talks about Jude Perry and The Lightless Flame in a way that makes her seem...on a different side from them. But like....that doesn't make her whole character any less bewildering to me! Hell, I think this makes her MORE bewildering! Not only do I not understand how she was able to even attempt doing so much damage to The Eye when she, as The Archivist, was presumably claimed by it, but like...how the hell was she going agaisnt EVEN MORE?! How is she just..able to fight against every side in this war between eldritch abominations, especially when her only known allies were three assistants who all died horribly, and an old librarian who while definitely powerful, is implied to have met her relatively late into her life? Even Michael, a character whose only discernable goals are to cause chaos, look hot while doing it and sit back and watch the world burn is at least aligned with The Spiral (albeit seemingly more by nature than by choice or experience). And like...better yet, WHY?! What motivated her to join The Magnus Institute and start fighting all of these things? My best guess is that she, like Jon, was motivated to join due to prior interest in the paranormal, and only learned that the institute was just as paranormal as everything it's been studying later on. The only discernable difference is that while Jon came in search of knowledge, I think she might have come in search of blood, but like...that's not a lot! Just...god. "Interesting" does not do this character justice. I love this arsonist grandma so dearly but like...I need her secrets now. And the funny thing is, I'm not even done talking about her yet! But...for now, back to The Unknowing.

So there's a few more details regarding it I want to point out. Firstly, it seems almost confirmed that while The Anglerfish and its minions, Breekon and Hope, Jude Perry and at least for a time, The NotThem, are all actively involved in The Unknowing, The Other Circus is the main organizer of the event, which makes sense as it does seem to be The Stranger's equivalent to the groups like The Lightless Flame and The Divine Host. (Mentioning that, I...kind of wonder if The Divine Host is involved here as well? I mean, not only are they seemingly aligned against The Eye, not only do they share some thematic similarities with agents of The Stranger, but...they've also been planning something for a while. There's Natalie Ennis' mention of a plan "three-hundred years in the making", which just so happened to have a part of it enacted...presumably not long before Gertrude's death. ...We'll get to the timeline shenanigans in a second. But uh...they also recently had their plans sold out to Section 31 by...who is most likely Elias, a guy who has expressed his desire to stop The Unkowing, albeit somewhat nonchalantly. Regardless, uh...we know that The Other Circus is in charge of this whole thing, but namely...somewhat by the name of "Orsinov". But...seemingly not Gregor Orsinov, the ringmaster from MAG 44, as Gertrude refers to this Orsinov with a "her" pronoun. Assuming that this is not a continuity error, then this likely means whoever is running The Other Circus is not the same person as Gregor, but rather a relative, spouse or even child. ...Preferabbly not that last one as I do not like the image of someone who is unlikely to be a normal earthling procreating. Alternatively, uh...congrats on the transition I guess? I know that sounds like a joke, but...it is worth noting that considering The Stranger is like...the shapeshifting one, a change in gender is not impossible here. Ultimately I'm fine if they go down that route, I just...don't hope they would frame that change in gender as an inherently scary thing? But...eh, I have faith in Jonny not to do that. Either way, there's some interesting directions they could take this in. Gertrude also mentions that Orsinov has...a world they wish to bring about. ...THAT doesn't sound good at all. I think this is pretty definitive proof that there's more to The Unknowing than I initially thought, and that it has much larger implications than just the destruction of the institute. I also assume this would be where the "ritual" aspect Jon alludes to would come into play, although I don't really know how to interpret that dialogue at the moment. Other than that...well, we know that all of that skin will somehow play into The Unknowing, and that there will also be "dancers" there who are wearing that skin. I assume these dancers are probably the various sentient(?) mannequins that agents of The Stranger have been producing, as "Megan" does seem to be wearing skin herself. This...also might explain what the deal with Sarah Baldwin and Daniel Rawlings is. I've thought since MAG 54 that the original humans who stumbled into Old Fishmarket Close were skinned by The Anglerfish, and that skin was given to monsters who serve it. Now it seems very likely that The Anglerfish's victims are actually "dancers" in their own right, so that's cool! I mean, it's terrifying, but it's cool! Uh...The Unknowing is seemingly fast approaching, which...yeah, definitely makes sense, I would be surprised if it didn't at least attempt to succeed this season honestly. And finally...this isn't from Gertrude's comments, but I didn't know where else to put it, but uh...we know that The Stranger also goes by the name "I Do Not Know You". ...I just thought that was neat.

Now, there's one last aspect of Gertrude's presence in this episode that I would like to discuss, that being...the timeline of her death. Unfortunately, my only real flaw with this episode is that it has quite a few, not plot-collapsing at all, but still pretty frustrating continuity errors that muddle the timeline a bit. ...Or does it? Because upon further thinking, I actually realized, what might seem like an impossible timeline...could actually be a clue. ...Yes, I am fully aware I probably sound a little crazy just by saying that. But first of all...well yeah I am crazy, we've established this before. But secondly, if it does turn out that these are just continuity errors...honestly like...whatever. I would prefer it if they weren't but I won't be super upset if Jonny made some minor mistakes, especially since he otherwise does a remarkably good job at keeping track of a timeline that is often not delivered to us in a chronological order. Now, there is one detail that I really can't rationalize being anything other than a mistake, and that is Jon saying that this tape was recorded a year or so before Gertrude's death. That is just...blatantly not true, as this statement was recorded in April of 2015, and Jon had been The Archivist for a quite a while by that point. Ultimately though, this doesn't really matter, especially since MAG 33 kind of established than any continuity error said by Jon regarding a statement can be explained by him being a little bit dumb on occasion. And by a little bit dumb I mean he smashed the table I'M STILL NOT OVER IT I KNOW YOU HAVE CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ABOUT SPIDERS BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK?! But otherwise...well, it's a bit complicated. This isn't the first time that we've gotten conflicting statements regarding Gertrude's death. In MAG 25, we're told that she died in May 2015 on the same day screams were heard from Hither Green Chapel, but in MAG 40, Elias tells her she died, or...at least went missing, in March. This means that this statement could either take place a month before...or a month after she died, and...I actually think either one could work. Stay with me. Let's start with the easiest assumption, that being that she died in May.

If this is the case...well, there's really not much to say. This statement was recorded a month before she died, end of story. As for Elias, well...he was the man who killed her, and we can say without a shadow of a doubt that he lied in the statement he gave after the Prentiss incident. The only problem is...I don't know why he would lie about the date of her death specifically as that seems kind of disadvantageous, but...I can just chock that up to him being a silly guy who does what he wants. Alternatively, you could assume that Gertrude went MISSING in March, but actually died in May, but...that wouldn't really explain the blood in the archives (although it's entirely possible that detail was another lie), and on top of that, wouldn't explain why Jon had her date of death recorded as being in May when she was only confirmed dead when Martin found her body in the tunnels in July of 2016. So...yeah, it's not perfect, but there are workarounds to this line of thinking. But...what if we take an alternative line of thinking, one that is less likely but a bit more fun? What if we assume that this statement was recorded a month...BEFORE she died?

You see, I've just been thinking...there has to be...SOMETHING more to Gertrude's death, right? Like, sure, it made sense for the whodunnit mystery to be concluded in Season 2, but like...her death is such an important catalyst in the story, and I find it way too hard to believe that it's as simple as "Elias shot her because she was trying to burn down the archives". (Oh uh...and this doesn't really connect to what I about to put forward, but I have to wonder...why did it take Elias so long to kill her? Like, she was working against The Eye at least since the late nineties, and he should've known about this because...well, you know. Unless gaining all-knowing powers from his patron took over 20 years, but like...I find that unlikely. ...Why did he wait?) I just...feel like there's more too it. And uh...you know how I mentioned I went back to the transcript for MAG 62? Yeah...you might see where I'm going with this. I went back there because in this episode, Jon mentions the page of the skin book that Gertrude got from Mary. Now, he very quickly disregards this as being at all connected to The Stranger (while also commenting on how confusing this all is, which....you and me both buddy), and I have to agree with this. While I am implored to raise an eyebrow at how all of the human heads that were being harvested for skin in the workshop here were hung on the same stuff used for Mary's book, we know that the book connects to a seperate member of ✨the horrors✨ called "The End", and while ✨the horrors✨ do collaborate with one another, we've never seen a Leitner that's connected to more than one of them, the same principle applying to artifacts and claimed people. But...I don't think the book being mentioned here has to be a throwaway line. If you recall MAG 62, Mary gave Gertrude a page of her book. Now, the page already had writing on it, seemingly implying that someone's spirit had already been bound to it. But...then I remembered that Mary seemingly bound herself to the book...and that's when I had an idea. For a long time, I've wondered how Mary could've possibly done what she did, but then I realized...is it possible that she removed chunks of her skin before dying, did all the spooky writing and incantations, and THEN overdosed on painkillers, which ultimately resulted in her being bound to the book? Because if that's the case...what if the same happened with Gertrude? Because like...Gertrude is shown to be familiar with the smell of burning skin in MAG 62, so like...what if she had pieces of her skin removed at some point, and then Mary used those pieces to create the page that she would then give her later on? Then, if we assume Elias killed her in March, this resulted in Gertrude being bound to the page as a ghost, therefore explaining how this statement was recorded after her death? This would also explain her mysterious remarks about needing to recover and being unable to stand, because she would be adjusting to a new state of being! (Side note, can I just say that I thought Gertrude sounded like...noticeably more aged here? I don't know if that's just a result of me not having tuned in for a while but if it isn't...great job Sue Sims, you really sold it well :). ) Now...all of that said, how likely is this?

Honestly not very, this is kind of crack. Plus, there are a number of very easy alternate explanations to these mysteries. The remark about burning skin could come from an earlier encounter with The Stranger or The Devestation, and honestly...it is entirely possible that Mary got help from Gerard when being bound to the book, because not only was he suspected of killing her, indicating he might have been at the scene, but all of the statements where he seems to be on bad terms with her take place after her death in 2008, so...yeah. It's very likely that the death in May thing is the case, or that...all of this is just one big jumble of continuity errors, which is honestly fine! But...eh, I like this idea quite a lot. Alternatively, I could argue that she's a ghost similar to the Archivist seen in MAG 53 but...that's pure speculation. Well, whatever the case, I just hope that there's a bit more to Gertrude's death and the circumstances surrounding it then what we've been given so far, because...I think there's a lot of untapped potential there.

Well...to wrap all of this up, I'd like to discuss some of the stuff Jon said. Firstly, he mentioned how weird it is that Gertrude was recording tapes all the way up until she died, along with how strange it is that only a small handful of statements were actually transferred, at least...as far as we're aware. I...honestly have to agree with this, but I think I have a decent enough idea as to what the deal is here, but it's not perfect. For a good while now, I've assumed that Gertrude intentionally kept the statements "disorganized", so that her successor would get all of the information they need as quickly as possible, and I think a similar thing might be going on with the tapes. All of them cover pretty important stuff, MAG 53 giving insight into The Eye and the institute, MAG 62 showing us some pretty important events, MAG 44 and 87 both tie back to The Stranger and The Unknowing, and MAG 77...uh...well look, there's probably no way she could've known that The NotThem would infiltrate the institute, especially all those years ago, but the tape does give us a clue to the existence of a statement from the ever-mysterious Adelard Dekker, and given how that statement has gone missing for unknown reasons...I think it's probably pretty important? Granted this theory isn't perfect, I mean, why would she be recording a statement that gives information regarding The Other Circus when she says in this very episode that she's surprised The Unknowing is something...like...actually worth worrying about in the present? And why would all of these tapes be buried alongside her in the tunnels...unless Elias put them there...which...ok that actually checks out. Anyways, this line of thinking isn't perfect but...I think something along these lines makes sense. The second point of intrigue to me is uh...Jon's plans. Which...oh boy.

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*....

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, HORRORS AND MICHAELS, GIVE IT UP FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF "NEW PLOT POINTS IN THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES THAT ARE REALLY EXCITING FROM A STORY PERSEPCTIVE BUT TERRIFYING WHEN YOU CONSIDER HOW MUCH IT'S GOING TO SUCK FOR ONE OR MORE OF THE CHARACTERS!!!" 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

So...Jon...ever-knowledgable and sane...has decided that it's a great idea to try and track down Jude Perry. You know, that lady who sets people on fire? I just...look, Melanie, if you know what's good for you, which I know yo-...actually nevermind you went to India fully aware that you might get murdered by ghosts, which you almost did, so...no. But if you have gained the ability to know what's good for you, which I hope you do, then you will NOT help the smelly man track down the professional arsonist. Like...dude?! Hello?! Like, I know the situation is dire, I know The Unknowing is a rapidly approaching threat, and I know that after BPM and the flashbacks to your childhood trauma you've accepted that there's really no way out of this mess, but like...damn, this is not a good idea! Not even Season 2 Jon would do this! Don't get me wrong...I think this is super exciting, not only because I have a particular bias towards the stuff involving The Lightless Flame (...mostly Agnes but shhhhhh), but because...this is EXACTLY what I wanted Season 3 to do. Finally getting out there in the world and actively trying to find all of the shit from the statements. It is...extremely dangerous and terrifying, but...also very exciting. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, after all it is entirely possible that Jude Perry has moved far out of Havering, or has even died at this point, but...man, if we could actually HEAR a member of The Lightless Flame speak...I might actually lose my god damn mind. Well...I'll just have to wait and see.

And finally, the ending of this episode. ...Yeah, that's genuinely terrifying! Hearing the calliope music slowly creep in, and then getting Jon's genuinely horrified reaction...it's so unlike what I'm used to so far, it comes at such an unexpected moment...and my jaw was genuinely left wide-open at it. That's uh...that's not good. Jon...I think you have a bit more to worry about than just police now. Oh, and just because I haven't really mentioned it, um...yeah I absolutely adore Georgie! She kind of has a very similar appeal to that of Basira for me, being a really down to earth and real-feeling character in a world filled with people who, while I absolutely adore them, are objectively freaks of nature. And while I do still think I like Basira a tad bit more, if only because I just feel like I know her better, I actually think Georgie is a better example of this trait! She's just a really friendly and supportive friend to Jon who has...unfortunately gotten a bit wrapped up in this mess, and...yeah, what can I say, I find her very endearing and hope to learn more about her and her past with Jon. I will say, I do find it a tad bit frustrating that Jon is pushing her away and refusing to get help from her, especially when he kind of resolved to stop doing that at the beginning of the season, and ESPECIALLY because she is the exact kind of person he needs at the moment, but granted, I get the sense he's doing this more out of care for her than suspiscion or malice, and I mean...yeah, I'd also be hesitant to tell her...all of that. And also...holy shit the statements really ARE an addiction allegory! Jesus Christ...Jon, what the hell is going on with you right now?

Well uh...yeah, that's all I really have to say! I was definitely surprised by how much I managed to write here, and I'm very happy that my tma fixation has seemingly circled back around earlier than I expected! I hope you enjoyed reading this and that this new kind of format worked well, this was certainly much less of an investment of time and energy for me at least, and I had a good time with it! Like I said, I'm not going to be dead set on writing about every detail of every statement anymore, and lengths of posts I do write will probably vary either do to time or how much I even have to say, but...this should be a decent example of the kind of format I'm going for! Anyways, I'm...probably not going to listen to MAG 88 just yet because it's late, so I'll save that for tomorrow morning! Anyways, it's nice to be back on tma, and thank you very much for reading all this! :)

[mitigatedchaos]

[ tumblr user ]

It's also a funny criticism. Like yeah, marxism has actual substance and can't be boiled down to a quick soundbyte or a handful of phrases. I'm sorry that y'all can't fucking read.

Leftist wall-of-text meme discourse is circulating.

We could talk about substantive problems with Communism. The labor theory of value and the economic calculation problem would be two key subjects. Either could be handled at great length, or boiled down into a pithy right-wing meme.

But I think it'd be more novel to discuss the mechanics at play for art and the meme game.

I'll discuss several of my own images below, and considerations, including this Tumblr favorite below. I'll also take a longer lefty meme and fix it up. The post is a bit rambly, but not too bad (~2,300 words).

My art hasn't traveled that far, but I do post images that have a lot of text in the images sometimes, and I've never caught flak for it. In fact, I accidentally did "left-wing memes vs. right-wing memes" as a comic back in 2017, and it got reblogged by Argumate, who is not known for making long posts. It wasn't super popular, but the third panel is a personal favorite of mine.

The benign violation theory of humor seems to have pretty good explanatory power. The first panel does contain a wall of text. That it's a wall of text is part of the joke, but you can't have the joke always be that it's a wall of text - it then stops being a violation, because it's expected. The more important part is that if you read it carefully, it's clearly describing a market-based system, which Comrade A here catches on to after a moment.

If we wanted to boil down the long text here, it could be summarized with something more like, "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."

The second panel is the unmasking. If we had the right character, we could end it here. A highly-recognizable, prominent economist or capitalist-aligned politician would be appropriate, but we could also replace the head with a book such as The Wealth of Nations, which would certainly be unexpected, but consistent with market-based position advocated in the first panel.

However, the character used is actually the avatar of the blog Mitigated Chaos, which most outside readers would not be familiar with, so we need a third panel to explain.

In retrospect, only showing half the head here is unfortunate; comics are a visual medium, and if it were done again, there might be another way to arrange it.

While left-wing memes are often described as too long, right-wing memes are often described as quite a bit shorter. The irony is that fully explaining this panel would take quite a bit longer than the first one!

This panel is a reference to the immense productive capacity, largely through technology, that humanity has gained under capitalism, which simulates evolution-like dynamics at the firm level.

Rather than Adam Smith's more benign "invisible hand," this panel treats the competition under capitalism as fierce, not market aid, but market discipline - an invisible fist. At the same, "The Way of the Invisible Fist" suggests that it's like a martial art, and can be taught and learned. This is not an attack, but an invitation ("Can you feel it, brother?") to learn.

"I can feel all the old limitations starting to fall away, now," refers partly to the immense rise in production capacity changing the nature of humanity's environment, such as reducing the burden of infectious disease and famine, which had been with humanity essentially for as long as we've been humanity (more so under early agriculturalism).

...but, along with the computer chip integrated into the forehead, it also refers to the likely condition of capital being directly integrated into or influencing the human body sometime later this century.

However, it also refers to the way that humanity have now tightly integrated capital into our lives, living in such a way that our very survival depends on the capital system within which we live, and which surrounds us at all times. It is very far away from the jungles or even the low-energy farming of the medieval era.

If you learn economics and make projections of the future, you can see "forever," which is clearly exaggerated both to accentuate the frightening nature of this apparently Nick-Land-like view, but also describes the elements of current society that might not be visible to Comrade A due to their lack of knowledge of this system.

However, ending it on the third panel would have looked a little too, "I'm cool; you're not," so on the fourth panel we zoom out, which reduces the resolution of the more "serious" style from panel three, and provides some contrast with Comrade A.

Here, Comrade A is presented as lacking the advanced techniques our Invisible Fist practitioner has, but as overall more reasonable than we might expect.

There's a sort of natural tension between the economic optimization in third panel, and the needs of humanity more broadly. Comrade A's plan is less efficient, but lacks that terrifying edge.

His last statement is his personal opinion, but it's left to the reader whether they agree with it - though it is clearly communist.

Tumblr user oligo* once reblogged a fantastic meme regarding Landian Acceleration. I went looking for it, and as it happens, I found it.

Is this a leftist meme? I think it is! It also appears to be a reference to this much more common meme image, but much less annoying.

Let's talk about it for a little bit!

There are two key things to understand about this, mechanically. First, the thing about internet memes in this sense is that they're significantly a visual art form. Second, they're not supposed to appear to be high-effort.

This meme uses screenshots from the very popular and well-known 1999 movie The Matrix, which provides it appropriate visuals while, because it's so well-known, establishing that the author didn't put in the effort to draw this all themself.

You could draw something like this scene, but then you would need to aim for a different format.

In the second frame, we then get the "crudely"-photoshopped Nick Land head as a visual part of the punchline. (In fact, the author has been careful in trimming it, but simply hasn't integrated the head back into the scene at all.)

Spider-robot-Land doesn't even say the criticism is bad, per se, he just says it's "ironic" - which it is. Nature is brutal, and yet humanity evolved from within nature until we were able to establish civilization.

Also note that you're unlikely to see a lot of criticism for the amount of text here. It's more than a typical image macro, but it's appropriate, so it gets a pass.

Let's try something of mine that's a little more popular.

The Rock Island Willerbean post has 5,600 notes. As some of you are probably guessing, yes, it's about the illegal trafficking of slow lorises, which apparently have venom glands in their armpits removed by smugglers. (Supposedly, when they raise their arms, it means they're terrified.)

As you can see, almost half the image is a textbox!

The use of text in internet memes or images generally very much depends on the context. Here, the image presents itself as a picture from a book. The text works due to presenting itself as a something like a wildlife narrator, but is clearly absurd by referring to a non-existent animal.

The content is both political and ideological - it's in favor, although it doesn't state this directly, of animal conservation.

But this particular approach isn't something you can do very often. You might be able to frame, e.g., a particular variety of car as a wild animal in order to express car opinions about it. But this would fall flat for most political attacks.

Let's talk about a leftist wall-of-text meme flop. Bing has helpfully provided me with an example, which I assume is real because it hits just the right range.

This is less text than is used in the Rock Island Willerbean example above.

The problem is not the number of words, but the combination of this number of words with this particular template. When Rick is showing us the torn hole in the wall, the contents should be direct and immediate, as this is what the visual language of the template is about.

Obviously, a lot of political conflict involves shaping the social terrain in order to determine what counts as "obvious" and what needs 500 words of explanation, giving relative advantage to different factions in on-the-ground social encounters. We aren't going to cover all that here.

This appears to be an argument about the Chromanticore vending machine and advertisements from Cyberpunk 2077. If you've played Cyberpunk 2077, you know the one I'm talking about. (It's a bit lewd.)

Cyberpunk 2077 is about a high-energy society with a breakdown of societal norms. As such, hyperstimulus that previously would not have been possible is made possible by technology, and active state intervention to regulate it does not occur. It's filled with lurid advertisements that are basically soft core, substituting the simulation of what people crave for the substance, a splitting of human desires from an evolutionarily more cohesive whole.

A lot of it's also about somatic capital technology and the increasing changeability of the body under transhumanism. I could really go on all day about this.

But basically, the chromanticore ad is shocking to contemporary viewers, but in Cyberpunk 2077's society, it's just mildly unusual - that particular body configuration would be uncommon, but Night City's residents wouldn't see it as unheard-of, and would instead have rather different gender war opinions about it than we would. Presumably you can just buy a ---- from a megacorp if you want one. (It seems the player can.)

The game's developers arbitrage this to create an environment that has a high hit or impact and feels very different or alien, providing the player with a unique experience.

Let's redo Raider's meme above to fit the template better.

It's tempting to jam preloaded counter-arguments into the image macro, but that isn't really the right place for them. The Internet is loaded with text, and most of it isn't of much interest to most people. The image macro is the hook. You want to get your central idea across, while convincing potential readers that it's worth listening to the rest of your ideas.

Thus in the updated version, we move text out of the image, and into the surrounding posts.

I get the motivation - the image is seen as a complete unit, so therefore, if the reader has seen the image, they've read the argument. And well, if they've read the argument, then they don't have the excuse of not having read the argument, so they know they're wrong, and should just shut up and do what they're told.

Problem is, you can't jam enough text into an image macro to cover all the counter-arguments. The position of the people who don't think the Chromanticore ad is a big deal is generally that they don't think it has all that much of an effect. The initial image macro does nothing to address this.

They might be persuaded if Cyberpunk 2077 depicted transgender people as uniquely evil, or if it presented someone who is transgender because they are evil, but instead the two most prominent transgender characters in the game are one character that briefly whines about the effort put in to pass, and a bartender... who joins the main character in an illegal underground street race, which is roughly the normal level of criminal activity for Cyberpunk 2077.

We could also talk about coalition membership where the goal of Raider's original post is to communicate to swarm CDPR by signalling to like-minded members of their coalition about what they're 'supposed' to do, using that kind of language to establish group membership. But that's a bit beyond the scope of this post.

Anyhow.

Another use for image macros is in an attempt to pithily shut down arguments. These tend to get pretty annoying, and a lot of times it means that the poster is trying to pretend that the debate is over and lay still and be slippery like a dead fish, to deny leverage and show coalitional loyalty. (They'd rather be thought an idiot than be thought disloyal.) I'll discuss the dead fish tactic some other time, probably. (Already wrote a big draft on it.)

The following is not exactly that kind of image macro.

A communist tumblr user misremembered a stat about container shipping, and made this post:

If you extoll the virtues of modern shipping logistics and think the only problem with it is that it isn’t used to distribute things fairly, you’re an idiot. This isn’t even an anti-civ or pro-civ primmie discourse thing. Just 15 freight ships produce more CO2 than the entirety of the world’s automobiles, and there are thousands of them in service. The efficiency you fetishize has a horrible environmental cost, and the best thing I can assume about you when you act like everything will be solved once it’s The People’s Railway is that you just don’t know what you’re talking about.

Usually this kind of person doesn't have good math and production sense. To grab the first link off the shelf,

Maritime shipping causes about 3% of global greenhouse gas emissions – even more than airplanes.

Ocean-bound freight is extremely cheap on an energy per unit weight basis, even cheaper than rail freight. So it was more fun to respond with a little art as bait, even though of course we know that tumblr user isn't going to take it.

This is not a conventional finisher-dunk.

However, for reasons I'm not going to go into, finisher dunks should not be much longer than this.

[laslow]

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Sam

Pronouns: she/her

Birthday (no year): 5/28! Cyan and I share a birthday with: Liam O'Brien, Laura Bailey, Ian Fleming, and Siegbert :)

Where are you from? What is your time zone? California, USA! PST (west coast best coast)

How long is your roleplay experience? 10+ years? Is it closer to 15 now? If you listen you can hear my joints creaking

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? None other than Wajas.com. Middle school, what a time you were

How were you introduced to TOA? iirc a FE blog I was following reblogged a ToA post and I thought "hm, that's pretty cool! I'll look into it!" and then I blinked and 5 years passed.

Do you have any pets? No :sob:

What is your favorite time of year and why?(Season, holiday, general period) Winter! The weather is actually livable

What is your IRL occupation? Office Assistant though I ask for good vibes I have some new opportunities coming up to leave my current place

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? Writing, reading, cross stitching, karate, journaling, language learning

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Legend of Zelda, Persona, Stardew Valley, occasionally I dip my toes back into Honkai Star Rail

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: Vaporeon and Water Type!

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! Dunno if I've mentioned this in the past but I have crooked pinkies due to a recessive gene in my family! My dad has crooked pinkies as well :)

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Five/six year old Sam watched my brother play Path of Radiance on the family Gamecube and I never looked back

What Fire Emblem games have you played? Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Sacred Stones, Awakening, Fates Conquest route, 3 Houses, Engage. I have read the scripts for Genealogy and Thracia. Halfway through Blazing Blade!

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: First was Path of Radiance! Awakening is still my fave all these years later

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! Inigo, Ilyana, Dimitri, Xander, Haar

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! Ilyana! I honestly can't remember why anymore I just thought she was super cool something about the thunder magic spoke to 5 year old me's imagination

Any Fire Emblem crushes? Laslow AND Dimitri that has not changed

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: Chrom, still Chrom - Fates: Silas, still Silas OR perhaps Laslow if I'm feeling Spicy- Three Houses: Dimitri, still Dimitri - Engage: Diamant, still Diamant

Favorite Fire Emblem class? Assassin or Swordmaster!

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? A very mid Myrmidon who can get some good stats if you have good rng luck

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Blue Lions pride baby!!

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? -Boon: Sword, Bow -Bane: Heavy Armor, Axe -Budding Talent: Authority

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? Brodia!

How do you pronounce TOA? Tee-Oh-Ae

Current TOA muses: Laslow, Leo, Nephenee!

Past TOA muses? Ilyana, Vanessa, Azelle!

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Inilow is here to stay I can't make this man leave my head if I tried.

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? I love my flirts, and I also enjoy more serious characters who have a relaxed side if you know them well enough. Also youngest siblings.

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? Villains! As interesting and multifaceted as they can be, I struggle staying within that mindset for a long period of time.

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) I do still enjoy combat--nothing like getting your adrenaline pumping!--but recently I've found I enjoy some of the more emotional things, too. Relationships, grief, etc.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? Not really; I've been extremely lucky over the years to have written pretty much every scenario I can think of. I would love to continue exploring both Lazzy's and Leo's arcs as fathers.

Favorite TOA-related memories? Oh goodness....way too many to count! Most recently, I still find myself laughing over Leo (muse) dying for Jan 2024's event plot. Iconic

Present or past tense? Present!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? No preference! I try to use small text on Leo solely for that #aesthetic, but that's it

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉  Not at the moment! I'm happy with my lineup! (But if you twist my arm.....a certain knight from SacStones still lives in my head. And there's this wyvern rider from Tellius who occasionally whispers.)

[dj-of-the-coven]

Hit me with your favorite defunct website

You will regret this.

Have you ever felt isolated by the modern internet, or nostalgic for the way that you can vaguely--but not entirely--remember experiencing as a child? Well I can't speak for everyone, but the past few years certainly have left me feeling that way. Certain nostalgia posts made circa 2021 got my brain churning in that direction, dredging up ancient memories of reading personal blogs and spending hours on flash game websites that were more or less entirely nuked from the internet by my adulthood. The more I remembered, the more distressed I felt by their absence, even though it'd been years since I even remembered most of that stuff existed...

Aside from Animal Jam, I wasn't sure if anything I knew from my mid 2000s-early 2010s childhood experience was out there on the web somewhere--so, I did as any normal teenager would and I started doing copious amounts of research into a subject that basically didn't exist. I discovered the internet archive entirely on accident; spent days examining the layout of early youtube and any other sites I could remember, navigating by year and trying to figure out when everything took a turn for the worst. I started browsing through webcore tags on tumblr just to get close to what I wanted, because "old internet" yielded few results at the time, and google's input was less than useless. Only a few blogs on tumblr had the kind of content I was looking for, but eventually I struck gold when one of them pointed me in a brand new direction of hope.

This is when I discovered neocities.

Of course, I was already familiar with the webhosting platform of geocities from the old days. Geocities was one of the primary hosting platforms that I remembered without the help of research, but you may already have guessed by the lack of a link that it's dead--and you'd be right. It actually shut down back in 2009, which I learned through the same post that advertised its independent successor. For some reason, I'd always associated the memory with the time I was in kindergarten, but the date of shutdown actually confirmed that I must've known about it earlier, making the platform one of my first memories! It's been gone for a while, but not the impression of it that I had as a core pillar in my early web experience. And then there was neocities. What was that? I immediately went to investigate.

Of course, I was mostly doing this in between two late-night bussing jobs to afford my shitty apartment, aside from being in my final year of high school, so progress was slow. At the starbucks next to my school, I was always holed up in the corner during my short window of off-time with a coffee and my computer setup. It took some time, but I began browsing through the top pages one-by-one, following links and cataloguing where they led to. I took stock of which sites linked to one another. Eventually, I noticed a pattern: a lot of them linked back to a website called sadgrl.online, a purple and black neon haven of internet culture run by a webmaster known as Sadness. Everyone say hello to our defunct website of the hour!

At the time, the thing was absolutely bustling. Almost all of the most popular sites on neocities were linked to Sadness' site somehow, usually through her button collection. My own personal site, which I started building around that time, also contained one of her web buttons. She has several, but her most popular one looks like this. (I apologize if you're on mobile. It will NOT look good.)

I was intrigued! In a community so removed from the usual mainstays of the internet, there existed a blog that hundreds of neocities users were visiting every day, and I very quickly became one of them once I finished looking through her thought-provoking essays on programming and web culture. Her site went through a number of layout changes while I was a regular visitor--the vast majority of them are catalogued on the site itself if not also on the internet archive. It was a blog dedicated to the exact thing that I was interested in; what I had been searching for since the modern web started rubbing me the wrong way in my burgeoning adulthood. Her page prominently featured an essay on the faults of centralized internet and her journey to foster a space more accepting of individuality, information, and creativity without thought of profit. I was totally enamored, especially with the appealing gothic graphics that surrounded the lengthy text!

(here's a capture from August 2022)

Aside from Sadness, several other active community members had formed an alliance of websites dedicated to the preservation of old internet culture and the cultivation of unique online spaces. These people called themselves the Yesterweb. The yesterweb was run mainly by webmasters known as Auzzie Jay, Madness, Tsvety, Grafo, Cinni, Vincent, Iris, and Sadness herself, but webmaster Melon (of MelonLand fame) also ran a forum that was parallel to the movement. The yesterweb was a massive project that included an online newspaper, a web radio station, several introductory programming manuals, a forum, web-themed essays from neocities users, button makers, layout creators, and terms and definitions for people new to the decentralized experience. It was easy to get lost in it all... for a time, the rabbit hole felt endless and exciting.

Every day, I returned to check updates on Sadness' various projects while I began work on my own website. She had totally convinced me of my own convictions--I bought the dream hook, line, and sinker. My only goal for a while was for my site to eventually be included in the yesterweb webring alongside all these amazing programmers. I wanted to contribute to the world of creativity that I could only dream of when HTML was still just meaningless jargon to me! But I was too slow learning the languages necessary, and the yesterweb was just growing too fast to be contained. I dipped for a few months to focus on my move to a new city, and by the time I returned, the whole yesterweb had disappeared scorched-earth style.

Okay, so what the fuck happened?

Currently, on the front page of what used to be a hopeful and inspiring collection of internet resources, there's a long essay made by the webmasters who founded the project, detailing burnout and massive stress due to the community growing faster than they could moderate it. It is certainly not poorly-intentioned. However, the discovery was absolutely devastating to me. My dream had gone up in smoke before I could even try to reach it, and I was apparently a part of the problem by caring so much about it. The radio station is gone. The webring was deleted. The forums shut down. My favorite webmasters' sites were no longer being updated. I felt awful for the people who had been affected by all this stress and pressure, but after so long of working to join the movement, I felt betrayed by their abandonment. The yesterweb disappeared in almost exactly the same way the old web did the first time--ripped from my fingers before I was able and ready to participate. And I can only wonder... what happened to the goal of turning the internet back into a place for us? How did it get to the point of ruining these people's lives within the span of maybe two years? I'm really not sure. There's a lot about this story I still don't know, and there's not really a way to access the drama that happened in a discord server that I never joined. The information published on the yesterweb's page is the only reliable source I'm currently aware of.

Still, in spite of it all, Sadness' website has remained one of my major inspirations in programming and web philosophy. I may be in mourning about a dream that died before it could truly live, but whenever I think about the months that I spent eagerly browsing her site for updates, I remember that spark that initially inspired me to begin researching the net in the first place. She was a major player in the game--not the only one. The website that she created was my favorite while it was active, and now it is my favorite website that is currently defunct.

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[defectivehero]

I want to start a writing blog kind of like this one, do you have any advice for starting out/gaining followers?

Sure thing! Here are some tips I can think of. (And, as always, remember that my word is not law and you are free to take or leave this advice!)

Reflect on your desires for a writing account and evaluate which platform will be best suited for that purpose. Investigate AO3, Wattpad, and even apps like Instagram to see if you have a specific preference. Each of these platforms come with their own advantages and disadvantages, and their own regulations on content & copyright. Furthermore, different types of content will do well on different types of platforms. Longer pieces are typically better suited for AO3, for example—although Tumblr's "keep reading" tab has certainly helped to breach that gap. Wattpad will be better for multi-chapter stories, typically about romance or self-insert pieces... You get the idea.

On that note, if you're decided on Tumblr, then try to get familiar with the platform. Chances are, if you've used the app before and have been a reader/viewer, then this step will be pretty easy and intuitive for you! But, try to observe how the writing communities in particular function on this app. Tumblr relies on things like hashtags and reblogs, so I'd say it's important to have a solid understanding of them. Hashtags will be very helpful in getting your content to the proper audience, so it's imperative that you get to know the tagging system that the writing community (and any relevant subsets) use to share their work. For example, since I write about heroes and villains a lot, I use tags like "hero x villain" and "heroes and villains"; I also use broader tags like "writers on Tumblr" and "spilled ink," which are more general tags for writing about fiction. Get familiar with the fandom lingo (terms like whump, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, etc.)

2. Next, try to determine what you want out of the blog. Do you want to write because you enjoy it, or do you want to write to build a platform and gain followers? There's nothing wrong with the latter, but keep in mind that growth can often be slow—and you don't want your expectations to be unrealistic. I had the fortune to be writing on this platform a few years ago, back when hero/villain was a new concept and there was a small, tight knit group of users that contributed to the idea (@creweemmaeec11 , @nuttynutcycle , @the-modern-typewriter, @kactus-loves-writing, @gingerly-writing, and other honorable mentions <3) and contributed to its growth. Now, there are writing blogs all over Tumblr—and while that is far from a bad thing, that means it will be more difficult to gather and maintain a following.

With that in mind, if you're dead-set on gaining followers, here are some tips:

Try to network. Networking, in this sense, just refers to interacting with other writing accounts. Follow the accounts you like, interact with their posts, reblog & comment on their works. This will help, because other users will see your blog in the reblogs. I did this back when I was a smaller blog, and I am forever grateful to the accounts listed above and countless others for helping me get here. (I have struggles with social media, so I unfortunately don't have mutuals anymore, but know that I endlessly appreciate all my old mutuals!!!)

Have a consistent upload schedule. I think this was a super important contributor to my blog's growth. Back in my beginning days, I was posting nearly every day. This was hardly a requirement, and that's not necessarily what I'm suggesting either—it's not practical to expect that kind of activity every day, especially if you have school, a full-time job, a family to provide for, etc. But! When you *do* upload, try to pick a time and day and stick to that. Test this out, too. See what time and day your content gets more interactions and then stick to that time & day.

Fill out prompts. It can be difficult to get your writing out there, even with all these tips. Check out some good prompt blogs, reblog their prompts (giving them credit!!!!! and reading through their rules!!!!!) and add your writing in the reblogs. Users will see your writing in the reblogs, and that can sometimes be a better way of assuring your posts get more attention.

Create prompts. This is another simple, easy way to get more interactions. Prompts are nice because they typically don't require lengthy posts, and they literally encourage people to reblog, comment, and add their own writing! Just make sure that you're comfortable with the idea of people adding on to your writing (and the potential for them to take it and not credit you properly) before doing this. I learned that lesson the hard way... Prompts are practically designed for community interaction!!!!

Other blog tips:

Contemplate what you want to write about. There are topics on Tumblr that, in my not so humble opinion, have already been thoroughly explored (cough, cough) and topics that have some intriguing, exciting potential. This is going to be very "marketing" of me to say, but evaluate the current market, see what the supply and demand is, and go from there. Try to combine what you want to write with what the community seems to desire. Don't be afraid to embrace uniqueness. The more quirky and unique, the better. (But try to have at least some universal appeal. Too much quirkiness will ostracize your content.)

Make sure your blog is filled out, layout-wise. Have an eye-catching profile picture and banner, a thorough bio, and a relevant pinned post. Think of your blog as your brand, in a way. You want people to recognize your profile from the first glance. And, if they're new, you want to intrigue them with your profile—show them something that they feel they can't look away from.

Be courteous to others. This one's pretty much already implied, but it can't be overstated. Half of Tumblr's magic is that the writing community here is pretty polite (and I can only hope that I'm a shining example of that /s). If you see something you don't like, keep scrolling. If you see content that really bothers you, go to your display settings and make sure you have filtered tags/themes on so that you can avoid seeing that content in the future. If something isn't your cup of tea, that's okay—it could very well be someone else's. I hate to say it, but the world could always use more positivity. We're all constantly learning more, so don't shit on anyone for wanting to be more knowledgeable!

Those are just a few tips that I have. Hope these help, and good luck with your blog!

Best,

Hero

<3

(not me signing this like an email, plssss)

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

I remember finding your blog back in ~2016 and falling in love with your writing advice and the way you answered others. I remember you often posted about a book you were writing—did you ever finish it? I remember that I saw every update you wrote about your journey as an author and how much i was rooting for you back then. I couldn't wait to read your story and i told myself that i'd buy it even if my english wasn't all that great (and it still isn't now).

I deleted my old blog and now that i came back i wanted to look for you again to see how you were—at first i thought that your blog had been deleted but i ended up seeing one of your posts on my dash by accident and went "Oh! A familiar face!"

I never had the courage to send any asks on tumblr, and I realize now that i also never thanked you for all of your writing advice

So I'd just like to say here, thank you. For all of your writing advice, for all of the help you offer to strangers online and for posting about your book here.

Your advice helped and inspired me so much. You had such an impact on me and my writing and it shows through my works to this day and you have no idea just how much this means to me.

I apologize if this is long. But i appreciate your existence, and i wish you great success on the road ahead

This actually brought a tear to my eye.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, and to have the courage to send it. I am so glad that I have been able to help you along your writing journey with my posts. I'm always fighting the worry that my advice is just white noise, and that it doesn't really do anything for anyone, but I'm glad that it's made such a positive impact on you.

And damn, I've been here since 2016? Lmao that's crazy how time flies.

As for my book, Wings of Faith, you can find info about it on my FAQ (Pinned post!) I have a whole host of content linked there, and usually tag it as #wingsoffaith or #wof. Currently, I'm working slowly through a re-write that came as a result of an utterly devastating plot hole my best friend pointed out. It's been tough. I've been struggling with motivation, after more than ten years of an uphill battle. But it'll get done eventually, and I've put in too much love and effort into it to give up now. Hopefully, once this re-write is complete, I will enlist the help of some beta readers!

Much love always. I wish you the very best.

[nerdygaymormon]

Lift+Love featured ME!

David Doyle has become a familiar name at the LDS-LGBTQ intersection. Some may have heard his poignant thoughts as a guest on a gamut of podcasts or at his Instagram site, @nerdygaymormon. Many have read his essay about how to better support the marginalized in Christian Kimball’s recent book, Living on the Inside of the Edge. And Lift and Love followers may recognize him as the facilitator of the Over 30 LGBTQ+ monthly support group. 

As a 52-year-old single gay man who serves as his Florida stake’s executive secretary, David appreciates that his unique status has granted him a plethora of interactions with general authorities—some after stake meetings, and some via invitation for David to meet them at church headquarters. While he doesn’t lead such introductions with his orientation, he says it doesn’t take long for it to come up when he’s typically asked about his lack of a wife and kids. And he doesn’t hold back when asked to share his thoughts about being asked to walk an extra difficult path in the church. David recognizes these interactions seem to be beneficial for both parties as he is able to share his unique perspective, and in turn often feels ministered to. He’s grateful that most with whom he speaks grant permission for him to share his notes from these “sacred conversations” in an effort to improve understanding.

David did not come out publicly until a 2017 blog post went viral that he now calls “the most important moment of my life.” In it, he shared that when he first came out to Elder Joaquin Costa, he was told, “Dear Brother, the church has much to offer you, and you have much to contribute to the church.” David decided one thing he could offer was his personal experience. 

While speaking to member of the Seventy, Elder Vern Stanfill, David explained how he is not able to complete the covenant path, and that has affected how he worships. He explained his observation that many in the church see Jesus as a secondary means to an end who allows them to be sealed to their spouse and see grandma again. But David shared, “For me, since I can’t be sealed and have those promises made to other members, I focus on Jesus. Seeking a relationship with Him first has been transformational for me. I also shared that queer people in the church hear a lot of negative, rejecting messages. We’re children of God and we deserve to feel hope and love and hear good news; that doesn’t happen enough.”

When Elder Kevin Hamilton asked David what he thinks his life and eternity will look like, David expressed that people seek answers to questions like that by coming to church, but queer people find far fewer answers. “I believe I’m included in God’s plan, but not so much the church’s version of that plan.” When David was then told that authority knew several people who “changed and no longer experience same-sex attraction,” David explained how he, too, had grown up being taught that if he had enough faith, God would change him. “I tried my very best, but my best was never good enough… I was always deficient, and it felt so defeating. I felt like if I couldn’t be good enough, then what was the point? That was very damaging. But fortunately, I got an answer to my prayer: ‘You are not broken’.”

David has always been impressed by the loving heart of Elder Dale Renlund, and how he invites his wife to join him at many speaking engagements--even turning the mic over to her entirely when the audience is predominately female. David is related to Sister Renlund, and at a recent lunch with the two when David asked their opinions on supporting LGBTQ friends and family members, Elder Renlund replied, “I can go to a gay wedding to show I love and support them. I’m not there to participate in that choice--I’m not marrying a man; he is. I’m going to show up as my authentic self, and I expect them to be their authentic self. I prefer to meet with people who are being authentic and not pretending to be someone they aren’t.”

Of all his conversations with general authorities, David says perhaps his favorite happened when one top church leader excitedly told him how a distraught father had approached the leader and said he didn’t know what to do when his daughter came out as a lesbian. The leader proudly told David he responded to the father by saying, “It’s going to be alright. I have a friend named David who taught me that love is what’s important. Keep loving her as you always have. She’s the one who has to make hard choices. Don’t make your relationship and love another difficult choice for her.”

While opening up to leaders and his very affirming stake president (who is the father of a gay son and hosts a bimonthly LGBTQ support group at his home) have been positive experiences, David says it hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows. David’s parents met at BYU, married in the temple, and raised their seven kids in the church. His family moved often in David’s youth, forcing him to rely on family over friends as constants. While David sensed his attractions from a young age, he says his family never said anything supportive of gay people and tended to not talk about hard things. To keep his sense of safety intact, he stayed quiet, only confiding in a handful of people.

When David finally came out publicly at age 46, some family members were immediately supportive, while others expressed more conditional love, saying that David’s continued church attendance would affect his affiliation with their individual families. David’s parents are supportive of his life in many ways, but this is still a subject they tend to avoid. David thinks this is probably because his mother sees his orientation as an upset to her vision of eternal families. Several of David’s nieces and nephews have engaged in conversations and asked him questions, especially as they have queer friends; and he loves to be there for them.

After earning his MBA from the University of Florida, David took a job as a research administrator at the University of South Florida in Tampa, where he has been for 18 years. David says, “It’s fun to work at a beautiful campus with a fight song, mascot, and team to cheer for,” and he likes knowing that what he does goes to the greater good of acquiring and spreading knowledge. But living in Florida, David has felt the political tension as of late as the governor has championed anti-LGBTQ legislation. He says, “The last two years, it’s felt like we’re moving backwards and many don’t feel safe… if we continue on this path (of stripping DEI programs and minimizing rights and protections), I worry what the future holds. I feel like we have to be on guard now.” David joined friends at a drag show recently, and for the first time, saw protestors outside, and observed his friends were checking out evacuation routes at the venue, just in case.  

David recognizes that the church can be a wonderful community for those who fit the mold but, “being a queer member is a hard space in which to exist.” He says this is why it took so long to come out and begin exploring his identity. “Before being out, I spent a lot of energy and time worrying about if I said or did this or that, would people pick up that I’m gay. But now I can choose clothes I actually like to wear or do activities I never would have considered before. I used to experience a lot of dissonance because of how differently I presented myself to others compared to how I viewed myself, but once I was out – that difference went away. I became more confident, and people seemed to notice. Also, now I know people like me for me, and that’s a huge relief and blessing. I used to worry that if people knew the real me, they would reject me, which meant even the friendships and love I had from others always felt tenuous. Being able to authentically be me and express my thoughts and feelings is so freeing.” David also values now being able to meet with health professionals to seek help for a variety of conditions he’s suffered over the years including low self-esteem, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, internalized homophobia, a social anxiety disorder, and an eating disorder. “Being out meant I could begin healing.”

David takes seriously his role as an unofficial consultant to several ward leaders in his stake who have asked how they can be more inclusive and sensitive to the needs of LGBTQ members. When queer members contact David directly, he says, “I do my best to try to be the person I wish I had in my life when younger. I try to express God’s love for them, and encourage them in their path forward, whatever that looks like. Sometimes just having a person who truly knows what its like to be you is important.” David feels his stake’s LGBTQ support group is an exceptional strength and opportunity to commune with others who understand. The group includes gay members even in their 70s and 80s who have chosen to remain active in the church, and is an opportunity for the stake’s queer members to feel seen and supported and to find friends who understand their experience in a way few others do.

When David was processing his internalized homophobia in therapy, he consulted with his stake president about the possibility of dating men while maintaining his calling and temple recommend. Together they went through the church handbook to be clear which lines, if crossed, could alter his church status. They determined that the same opportunities and limits extended to an unmarried straight couple apply to David. But with dating, David says he has often felt “like a teen in a man’s world because it’s not LDS-land here in Florida, so I tend to just stick to first and maybe second dates.” David says if he did find love one day, he would pursue it.

Through all this, David says, “I’ve become more and more certain the two great commandments are what’s really important in life. Being vulnerable and seen, binding hearts together and treasuring each other, building each other, being there for hard times – that’s the hard work. We need to see the humanity and divinity in each other. Zion is a community, and we need to extend the borders of our community to be welcoming and inclusive of all our Heavenly Parents’ children.”

[prince-of-elsinore]

Dear M*A*S*H: S1 Ep 01 “Pilot”

I want to talk about M*A*S*H. The 50-year-old show that, completely unexpectedly, has captured my heart and mind. I finished the series just over one week ago and had to force myself not to immediately begin a rewatch. Now that I’ve had a bit of time to process, though, I’m eager to dive and dig back in, to pick apart what makes this show tick and what made it resonate with me. I want to take my time this go-around (though I expect that will be difficult) and document my thoughts on episodes and characters as the show morphs and grows. I don’t know if I’ll make posts for every episode (that’s a lot) or how long I can keep this up tbh, and I make no promises as to the eloquence or deepness of all my reactions (sometimes you just wanna stare at Mike Farrell’s fuzzy chest amirite). But this show left my brain buzzing with how much there is to talk about and, well, it’s my blog, so here goes.

Korea, 1950: a hundred years ago

What a line to open on. When the show first aired in 1972, it was only 22 years ago. But maybe for audiences jaded by 7 years of direct American entanglement in Vietnam, the first war with moving images broadcast directly into living rooms across the nation, swiftly drawing to an embarrassing and disastrous conclusion, this other war did seem like a hundred years ago. That other, “lesser” war sandwiched between the heroically fought Second World War and the unprecedentedly divisive living nightmare of Vietnam. The supertitle is a simultaneous reminder to the audience of a conflict not often discussed around dinner tables, despite its relative recency (almost as recent to them then as the Iraq War is to us now), and an acknowledgment of how very, very distant it feels. What fascinates me most is how it positions the story we’re about to see as a fable of sorts from a distant time and place, presaging--somewhat paradoxically--the show’s perpetual relevance. This is Korea. It is also every war.

Then, the rest of the cold open. Visual storytelling at its finest! In a brief series of images we glean not only a sense of who our major players are at their cores, but also the notion that at the 4077, not all is as it seems. Two men in Hawaiian shirts playing golf: a familiar sight, until--kaboom, the ball lands in a minefield. A surgeon and nurse work over an unseen patient--oh, no, it’s a bottle of champagne. A man and woman in uniform studiously read a Bible and medical manual--while playing footsie under the table. So, Hawkeye and Trapper are the happy-go-lucky types who don’t see being in a war zone as any reason not to get their kicks where they can; Henry may appear official on the outside (though as we’ll soon see, rarely even that) but really he’s concerned with having a good time with a nurse (it strikes me this could also be an appropriate establishing situation for our two leads, but it’s even more fitting for Henry who is consistently negligent in his duties as Commanding Officer for the sake of sensual indulgence); and Margaret and Frank put on a hypocritical show of military and Christian officiousness while succumbing to their baser desires like anyone else.

Perhaps the implied injunction to look beneath the surface is nothing more than a promise to audiences of what kind of comedy the show will deliver. Perhaps it’s a commentary on the absurdity of life in wartime and under military jurisdiction (people will be people, no matter how many rule books you throw at them). I doubt the show intended this at the time, but I also see an early indication of the ethos that will come to permeate the series: that the truth--and often, our shared humanity--is found in looking closer, not making snap judgments based on superficial features. In any case, this much is clear: your expectations will be subverted. What is familiar becomes foreign, what’s foreign is familiar. It’s a topsy-turvy world. That’s the oldest root of comedy; it’s also war.

“Par is a live patient”

We get Hawkeye’s first “Dear Dad” over our first O.R. scene, conveniently filling us in on the what and why of the 4077 and meatball surgery. It’s also a thesis statement of sorts. They’re there to save lives, not for glory or to be pretty or precious about their work. Life: the number one concern of a doctor, and the number one thing that war takes away. In some ways, a doctor in a war zone is a paradox. This will be Hawkeye’s struggle straight through to the end of the series. He’s more needed here than he could be at any General Practice or stateside hospital, but what the hell is he doing here? He keeps fixing bodies--just enough to keep them clinging to life--only for the war and the army he works for to keep breaking them.

Back at the Swamp, Hawkeye voices a sentiment we’ll often hear repeated over the 11 seasons to come: invite the North and South to a cocktail party. Last one standing wins the war. Here, it’s a throwaway joke, but as we’ll come to see, the tragedy of Hawkeye Pierce is that he simply cannot grasp, cannot accept, how human beings, given the chance to just talk to one another, cannot come to an understanding, or at least an agreement, and settle their differences without resorting to killing.

All right, on to Lieutenant Dish. The scheme to auction off a nurse, even for the good cause of sending Ho-Jon to college in the States, is cringe-inducing today, as is the awkward montage of Hawkeye’s dogged pursuit of the lieutenant. The show’s misogyny, especially in its early seasons, is by far the hardest aspect for me to stomach. If, however, you take what is shown at face-value, as intended, there’s no harm, no foul here. The Dish-Hawkeye dynamic walks a thin line. Yes, she rejects him over and over and he ignores her over and over. Yet, even as she claims to be saving herself for her fiance, Dish seems indulgent towards Hawkeye, and later at the party even flirtatious. So, she enjoys the attention. Convenient and typical of an attractive woman written by and for men. At the same time, it doesn’t take any stretch of imagination to see that flirtation and sex are some of the only outlets available to the women of the camp, and that they could enjoy it just as much as the men.

I do want to know what the hell the plan was with the raffle of the weekend passes. Father Mulcahy winning is simply too convenient. (Incidentally, I feel robbed of seeing William Christopher react to his name being drawn. I’m looking forward to more familiar faces rounding out the supporting cast.)

The party scene also provides the stark juxtaposition of revelry and Hawkeye dancing cheek-to-cheek with his conquest with the sobering reality of their purpose, the raison d’être of the whole camp. To his credit, Hawkeye looks appropriately grave as he informs Margaret that they’ll be operating on a fresh batch of wounded within hours. While the 4077 dances and drinks, Canadian troops are fighting and dying not far off. Not only is this the linchpin of the episode, the get-out-of-jail-free card for Hawkeye and Trapper after all their shenanigans behind Henry’s back, but also a stamp of credibility for so much of the show. How on earth can these clowns get away these schemes, in the army, of all places? Because they are indispensable. Not only are they surgeons, they are the best at what they do. And once again the hypocrisy of army rules and regulations reveals itself; if everything were done by the book, to the letter, the army would cease to function. It would regulate and court martial itself into obsolescence. (Though, as is pointed out more than once in later episodes, would that really be a bad thing?)

Okay, some more thoughts, now as bullet points so I can wrap this up:

I’m watching without the laugh track, and boy is its absence obvious here in a way it never is later on. The pacing is off, much of the comedy wooden. Still, I prefer this subdued, awkward version of the show to the one with the incongruous canned audience. I think watching it this way allowed me to see so much more.

We get a “Come on, Mary” from Hawkeye to Trapper in the first six minutes! And they facetiously, effeminately point their noses in the air in unison as they walk away from Frank. They’re so in sync straight from the start and I love to see it.

I’m so glad the show left these awkward montages and flashbacks (Hawkeye with Dish, Margaret with General Hammond) behind.

Margaret’s limp hair and awful bangs make me sad.

I forgot The Still (tm) is not with us from the start! I assume they build it after Frank breaks their rudimentary barrel gin mill.

Oh, the bucket hat. Odd that it stays with us in the opening credits for the entire series run, when it feels so odd to see Hawkeye wearing it.

Radar is a surprisingly smooth operator here, even devious. He’s no dummy but it’s odd seeing him like this before he became more the wide-eyed innocent kid.

What is the true origin of “Hot Lips”?? Hawkeye calls her that seemingly off the cuff, and her reaction makes it seem like it’s a new nickname. Then Hammond shows up and calls her the same thing. Is this simply a case of Impossible Coincidence Played for Comedy?

I don’t think I got it the first time around that Margaret recognizes the gauze-covered Frank by his butt when she goes to give him the injection. One of the better jokes of the episode imo.

I listened to the Mashcast podcast for the episode and they were puzzled by the use of Japanese covers of popular songs. I assume that this was because Japan was so firmly established as a base of US military operations, a place every G.I. would pass through on their way to Korea, and where they would hope to go for R&R. I assume (but have not done research to confirm) that radio stations they might get would play Japanese tunes like this. The Japanese cover of “Happy Days,” for instance, seems like a nostalgic choice for US servicemen of the era.

Biggest laugh for me: Such a simple moment, but when Hawkeye and Trapper come into Henry’s office and shake hands with a “How are you, Henry?” and he responds, a little wary and knowing, a little sad-sack, “That’s not what you guys came to ask. I mean, the last thing you wanna know when you ask ‘how are you’ is how am I.” God, I really love Henry.

Parting thoughts: In retrospect, the pilot does a better job than I would’ve suspected in setting up not only the characters but also the lasting themes of the show, even while striking a tone a world away from what the show would become. Not a particularly good or funny episode, but it’s rewarding to rewatch and see the pebble drop into the pool, sending out the rings that will reverberate far into the future.

[noname-nonartist]

9 people you would like to get to know better

Thank you @hxhhasmysoul for the tag! ^w^/

3 Ships:

Hmmm. That is a tough one to pick. Hmmmm. I mean, I already did a post with my fav jjk ships, sooo. I’ll just list off my fav ships from other fandoms!

Hmm. Now what would they be… I would say… Akechi X Joker from Persona 5. I’m always a sucker for enemies to lovers! XD

Chrom X Robin from Fire Emblem Awakening, I remember loving that ship a lot when I was a teen.

And… I would say for the last one… it probably would be… hmm. I guess I’ll say Xingqiu X Chongyun from Genshin Impact. I found them very cute and silly.

First Ship:

Oof, now this be a call back from wayyyyy back when I was a kid. I remember as a really young kid I would ship Ash and Misty from the Pokémon anime.

Now I do found it sort of interesting how I ship fictional characters together through romantic lens. But when it comes to me feeling romance towards other people? Nonexistent. Lmaooo~ X3c

Last Song:

Show by Ado

Of course it would be J-pop because my taste be wack. =w=;

Last Movie:

I don’t really watch movies that much, mostly because I’m a broke introvert, but the last movie I did watch was recommended to me by @hxhhasmysoul!

The movie was called “Sound of Noise” a movie about a tone deaf cop trying to stop a group of anarchic band members whose performance are terrorizing the city.

It was a good watch! And I enjoy it a lot! I would give it a shot if any of you guys are interested in it!

Currently Reading:

Hmmm. Would online pages/blogs count? 0v0;

Because I’ve currently reading this one old website about Drow Society, since I wanted to get more familiar with D&D lore and the society of all the races. Also, like one of my customize characters in Baldur’s Gate 3 is a Drow (a good Drow since I’ll always play a good route in the game) soooo I was curious!

Currently Consuming:

I’m assuming this means what I’m consuming media wise. Right? Then… it’s obviously Baldur’s Gate 3.

I’m currently have like over 290 hours on the game, and still planning of playing more of it!

Currently Craving:

I’m currently craving for Chongqing Chicken or it’s other name, La Zi Ji the Sichuan dish! ^w^

It’s sooooo good!

Tagging 9 people! Again, do it if you guys are interested! No pressure! ^w^/

@wrathofnature, @himi-wiz, @melodiclune, @sabrondabrainrot, @tinyballerinadancer1, @olasketches, @majycka, @bewwy, @burningliquors

[heckyeahponyscans]

In my search for info about the Oldsmobile ad campaign, I came across this blog post:

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The story of “not your father’s Oldsmobile.” Or how some really bad advertising changed the culture forever!

October 14, 2008

Time for a story boys and girls. It’s a tale that requires we go back 20 years, before copywriters had Macs, before email, before I lost my hair. This story harkens back to a day when Oldsmobiles roamed the earth. And their commercials filled the airwaves. I should know; I made some of them. Including the campaign that served as Olds’ final and famous (infamous?) death gasp: “Not Your Father’s Oldsmobile.”

 Dad’s was better.

The line has become a pop culture catch phrase, in the same ilk –albeit attached to worse advertising-as “Got Milk?”  Both slogans have been co-opted literally hundreds of times, far outlasting their original intent. Try reading your morning paper and not finding a variation on either line. For example, about a candidate: “This is not your father’s Democrat.”  About a technological innovation: “This is not your mother’s sewing machine.” And so on. Sadly enough, more Americans are familiar with the Olds’ slogan than of Shakespeare’s finest sonnets. Way more.

A soft-spoken creative director by the name of Joel Machak wrote that famous line. I actually came up with the campaign’s tag: “The New Generation of Olds.” Both pieces were intended as lyrics. That’s right, a jingle! As a matter of fact, I was brought in to help Joel come up with the refrain. The piece went together as follows (sing along):

       This is not your father’s Oldsmobile…This is the new generation of Olds.

Pretty spiffy, eh? The word “generation” was key. If you recall, each commercial featured a celebrity and one of his or her offspring. This is why the campaign is so damn silly. Outside of a morbid fascination with ogling Ringo Starr’s purple-haired daughter or Dave Brubeck’s motley looking brothers, placing the kin of “B” and “C” celebrities on camera was pure folly. Though I will concede we anticipated Reality TV by 10 years! If you do nothing else today, go to the above link. Trust me.

Where’s my Cutlass Supreme?

The very first spot was for the “totally redesigned Cutlass Supreme.” The protagonist for this commercial was none other than William Shatner, appearing as; you guessed it, Captain Kirk! Riding shotgun was his lovely college-aged daughter, Melanie Shatner. A middling actress, she was pretty darn cute. She also was well endowed. And this became problematic given her wardrobe and where we were shooting. It gets damn cold in the Palm Desert at night. The diaphanous gown provided Melanie was meant to be futuristic a la Star Trek, but it did nothing to warm her up. Subsequently, her nipples went completely rigid, sticking up like Spock’s ears.

beam me up, Scotty!

While this may sound lurid and comical now, at the time (3 AM) it was a “situation.” Imagine the middle-aged suit from GM, replete in a satin Oldsmobile Racing Team jacket, making his way over to the director. “Excuse me, but we can see her nipples!”  Given we’d already shot scenes of Melanie in the gown, a wardrobe change was not possible. The solution? Duct tape. And thus her cleavage had a silver lining.

The other moment I’ll never forget was a captured piece of dialogue (unscripted) between William and his daughter. Between takes, they were side by side in the white Cutlass. Unbeknown to either, the mic was still on. Listening to Captain Kirk school his daughter about the virtues of pep and sleeping pills as a key to nighttime shooting was priceless. What a Dad. What a cad. In a way, it preceded his Emmy-winning turn as Danny Crane by some 20 years.

I know this is trifling gossip, and long past its vintage. But like everyone else, I’m beaten down from our grim economy and an evermore-depressing election. Not to mention the woes of Chicago’s sports franchises… When I was new I used to love listening to the old-timers tell bawdy stories from their shoots. Now that I have a few under my belt, I figured we could all use a respite.

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As a post-script: in 2021 the writer returned to his blog after fifteen years away. He explained that he had dropped out of the advertising biz and become a substance abuse counselor. He began work just as Covid broke out. Wow! I find that inspiring! He also has a Youtube channel devoted to his aquarium hobby, check it out here!